(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 1 : Seeing Trey Hurts


I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out, especially with all the hype about Trey being in town. I knew inside of me, seeing him would definitely make my day, but I didn’t know if he would feel the same after our last encounter.

Two weeks ago Trey and I attended an event for American Veterans. I had no idea Trey was going to attend this event, when I walked in and heard Trey’s name my heart dropped. I was torn. Considering this had been the first time Trey and I had seen one another since our break up. I didn’t make it my priority to speak to him, but it was hard not to. The military was honoring Trey for his “Your Side of the Bed” music video, which brought awareness to the way military families feel and the sacrifices they have to make. I was so proud of him because I knew how hard he worked to be where he is. What hurt the most was, I couldn’t tell him how I really felt.

At one point I was walking and Diana stopped me and said, “love your outfit”, and of course Trey was standing next to her staring while sipping on his champagne. I assumed he was waiting for me to acknowledge his presence. I was surprised that Diana had spoken to me since we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Diana is Trey’s personal assistant. I was wearing a long red dress, that fit tightly to my curves. It fell a little pass my knee with a long train in the back. The straps wrapped around my neck with a plunging cut in both the front and back.

“Thank you”, I said

“Is it Alexander McQueen? Seen something like that not too long ago”, She said sarcastically.

“Really?” I smiled as I continued to speak, “No, babe it’s a Christina Renee original”, making a three sixty in order for her to see the full dress.

“Nice”

The compliments I got were the highlight of my night but Trey kept presenting himself in every conversation I had. At the time I didn’t know if it was intentional or just me but I thought his efforts to get my attention was cute. Briana and I decided to get another drink from the bar. We work together but were also friends.

Briana has long red hair with a body to die for. She was wearing a short halter top tight fitted black dress. Briana is definitely more outspoken than I am. When I noticed that Trey was making his way towards the bar I quickly nudged Briana. Trey stood right next to me. I could feel his eyes piercing against my skin. I turned to the bar with hopes that he would walk away. Briana then shoved me out the way holding her hand out to shake Trey’s and said, “Hi I’m Briana”. Trey held his hand out to meet hers.

“Nice to meet you”, Trey Replied then looking at me, “And you are?”

Trey held out his hand for me to shake it. I held my hand out to meet his and replied, “Christina Renee”.

“Nice to meet you Christina Renee”, Trey said with a sarcastic smile. The few seconds we made eye contact went from innocent to sexual. I had to immediately break contact. It seemed as if we were talking to one another for the first time again. I would have said something back but because Briana had no knowledge of our past I decided to play along.

Briana interjected, “So I see you’re the man of the hour, Congratulations”

Trey replied, “Thank you, but I’m just glad I could be the one to bring awareness to the situation”.

“I understand, we both are daughters of military men so we know what it’s like”

I tried to keep myself out of the conversation as much as possible. So I would just nod my head and agree with everything that was being said. I was at this prestigious event I was originally not supposed to be at but was invited at the last minute because of my relationship with the sponsors. Then to find out that my ex is the one being honored at this event. It was a lot to take in at once.

When the night was over Briana and I said good night to one another and went our separate ways. As I was waiting for my car Trey and his assistant stood next to me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” said Trey’s assistant sarcastically.

“Yes, it was amazing”, I said with a smile

I wasn’t sure if Diana didn’t like me because of what happened but I did not appreciate the sarcasm she kept giving me. She was acting as if he was her man and not her boss.

“That’s great”, as her car pulled up she said, “Have a good night”, jumped into the car and drove off.

After she left, Trey stood still next to me waiting for his car. I was a little uncomfortable and confused. I looked in the opposite direction to make the situation less awkward.

“Is that your way of ignoring me?”, Trey said smiling.

I turned to him confused, “How can I ignore someone who isn’t talking to me?” I replied.

Both of our cars pulled up at the same time. I was freaked out how things were working out. It all seemed planned in some strange way.

“Were you working tonight?”

“Excuse me, is that really the first thing you can say to me?”

I began walking to my car when Trey grabbed my hand, “Is this how you want to end the night?”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said with an attitude.

“Many”

“Well keep them for a female who wants to hear it, and we both know that’s many”, I tugged my hand from his grip, got into my car, and drove off. I didn’t intend to be so mean, it just came out. It upset me that he would ask me about work knowing our situation. Sometimes living this type of life can really affect your personal life. Ever since that night I have been getting calls and emails from Trey but I haven’t answered.

TO BE CONTINUED…

P.S All Stories are Fictional!

(Finding Myself In You) Chapter 3: Conquering My Fears

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FAN FICTION

For the last couple months, Logan has been going on morning runs to clear her mind for the big day. With tomorrow being the day, she expands her run to five miles. When Logan gets back to the apartment Ann notices that she is approaching. Ann goes through some mail and puts Logan’s mail on the counter while saying, “how was your run?”
“I did quite a bit of thinking but I don’t know if my mind feels clear,” Logan says giggling as she walks towards the elevators.
“Make sure you read the sign, don’t use the left elevator, it’s not working well. They’re supposed to come in sometime today and fix it,” Ann yells.
Those words were enough for Logan to take a few steps back as Logan’s fear of isolation starts to kick in. All she remembers being stuck in a box, and not being able to come out. If anyone even mentions any type of isolation, she will avoid it completely. As soon as those words come out of Ann’s mouth, Logan decides she rather go up a flight of steps than to get stuck in an elevator.
As she opens a door to go up the staircase, Michael walks up behind her and says, “Why are you taking the steps?”
She turns back to him with no sudden expression and says, “Ann said the elevator is acting funny so I’m taking the steps.”
“She said the left elevator is acting funny,” Michael laughs.
“Yeah, but I rather not take my chances. So, I’m taking the stairs,”
“Stop being so scared,” he says as grabs her hand and heads to the elevator.
“Michael you seriously don’t get it, I can’t take the elevator,” she says while pulling away.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. I got you,” he says as he smiles at her.
They lock eyes for a quick minute before the elevator opens. Logan takes a step back afraid to walk in. Michael grabs her hand tight; Michael says. “I got you.” They both walk into the elevator and Logan turns towards the elevator doors, watching as the door closes. Her heart starts beating out of her chest, her hands start sweating, and she begins to hyperventilate. When Michael realizes it more serious than he thought. He puts his hands around her speaking directly into her ear, “you’re OK, we’re going up, nothing’s happening.” He continues pointing to the numbers moving, “look at the numbers.” Logan starts to focus her attention to the numbers as they go up one, two, three, four. She begins to calm down with every number change. Suddenly the elevator jerked and stopped at the fourth floor. In the moment her whole body feels like it’s seizing up and she can’t move. Michael starts to speak to her, but nothing is getting through to her. She remains still as a block. Michael turns her towards him and starts shaking her and calling her name multiple times. After a few minutes, she snaps back into the moment. Her worst nightmare has become her reality. She is stuck in isolation with no way to escape.

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“Logan! Pay attention to me,” Michael says. “Listen to my voice. Logan look at me.”
“Michael why are we not moving?” Logan says looking around the elevator as if there was some way that she can get out.
“The elevator is broken. I spoke to someone and they’re going to get us out of here as soon as possible”
“Michael, I can’t be stuck in here! I can’t be stuck in here,” Logan says walking in circles frantic.
Michael grabs each of her hands and holds them tight, “Logan I got you…take deep breaths.”
“I can’t be stuck in here,” Logan mentions again.
“Just listen to my voice, follow what my voice is telling you to do,” Michael says with a smile. “Take deep breaths, in and out.”
Logan begins to follow Michael’s voice and repeats everything he says. She tries to control her thoughts. She finally pulls it together until she starts thinking deep again and says, “I’m going to die in here. I don’t want to die alone.”
“Look at me! You’re not dying and you’re not alone. I’m right here. If you can’t see me listen to my voice. I am here and I’m not going anywhere I’m in here with you. We are both stuck in here together. Whatever happens to you will happen to me.”
After about 20 minutes of consoling Logan, Michael finally gets her to calm down. Now she’s in a corner rocking back-and-forth playing with their fingers as Michael is talking to the firefighters. Once they’re off the call Michael goes in the corner with Logan and sits as close as he can. “I’m back, Micheal says, I’m right here with you.”
Logan doesn’t say a word she just sits there silently rocking back and forth. Michael sits directly in front of her and curls up just like her and places his hands-on top of hers. For a few moments he just sits there holding her hand then he slowly let’s her hand go to move her head up to look into her eyes. He notices Logan’s forehead and face is drenched with sweat. Unbothered by the sweat, Michael places his head slowly to hers. When he finally gets her attention, he speaks to her calmly and slowly. There’s no space between them for her to avoid and ignore him. The words that come out of his mouth directly fall into hers and she’s forced to listen.
“Listen to my voice,” Michael says.
Logan doesn’t respond or even acknowledge Michael; she’s just rocking back-and-forth and Michael grabs her hand again and turns her face to look directly into his eyes. She still has tears slowly falling down her face. Michael wipes each eye and says, tell me something about yourself that no one else knows
Finally, Logan is looking directly at him as tears fall down her face again as Michael slowly wipes them away
I’m waiting and don’t say you’re scared of small spaces, Michael says with a smile
Logan stops rocking back-and-forth takes a deep breath then says, I’ve always wanted to just go to the islands and sit and watch the tides on the beach
That’s good, that’s what I want you to think about, you and me on the beach together watching the tides. We’re not in the elevator, we’re on the beach together, close your eyes and just think of that.
Logan tries her best to focus on Michael. She starts to breathe really hard, but Michael grabs her hand tighter and says, think of the tides. She takes a deep breath and she starts thinking about the island with her and Michael together sipping from coconuts laughing and enjoying life. For a few moments she even imagined him holding her in the room in the most romantic way. As she is imagining him about to kiss her the elevator doors open, and she quickly opens her eyes. Michael turns around in complete shock, stands up and then lifts Logan from the ground. it’s all over, he says as he pulls her out of the elevator. I told you it’s just you and me nothing was going to happen to you as long as I’m here. As Logan feels the fresh air from the hallway, she takes a deep breath and snaps out of her daze. When she realizes that she’s no longer on the elevator she looks around takes another breath and then a sigh of relief as she hugs Michael as tight as she can, thank you she says, “thank you so much.”
Michael hugs her back and says, “I didn’t do anything, it was all you, you conquered your fear all I did was stand here and talk to you, but you did all the hard work. You believed in yourself and you got out of it safe.”
Turner comes running through the front doors of the building, with a concerned look on his face. Once he gets a visual of Logan, he runs up to her and says, “are you OK?”
“I’m fine,” she says she looks at Turner, “how did you know I was stuck in the elevator?”
Ann called me when the elevator stopped. I was at work, but I left immediately. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier.
“It’s fine,” Logan says, “there’s nothing you could’ve done anyway. You came all the way up here because I was stuck in an elevator?”
“Yes, of course I came . If you need me I’m going to be here for you, you should know that by now,” Turner says.
“What happened? How are you able to handle it all?”
Logan turns and looks at Michael saying, “My neighbor Michael was in the elevator with me. He really helped me through it all. I thought I was literally going to die and he brought me back to life.”
“Thank you, for taking care of her,” Turner says.
Michael doesn’t say anything he just nods and head.
Turner slowly walks with Logan up the stairs to the eighth floor. He takes her to the house, goes into the bathroom and runs her a warm bath. Once he takes her into the bathroom, he slowly takes each piece of clothing off and tells her to step into the bathtub. She sits down in the soapy water and doesn’t say a word. It’s as if she’s not in control of her body like a zombie. He turns around so he can wash her from head to toe.
After her bath he gets her dressed and carries her to bed like a scared young child. He puts her down gently then he gently curls up next to her. As their bodies meet her body seems to relax. She feels comfortable with Turner. The next morning, she wakes up with Turner lying next to her. Their usual routine has now been reunited. There’s a comforting feeling when Turner is next to her.

FAN FICTION

Analyzing R. Kelly Interview with Gayle King on CBS News

R. Kelly finally breaks his silence following his arrest on sexual abuse charges in an interview with CBS This Morning co-host, Gayle King. Parts of the 80-minute interview have aired and people are choosing sides. Everyone wants to know, “Did R. Kelly Do It?”

R. Kelly is being charged with 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse relating to misconduct with four women, three of whom were underage at the time of their alleged assaults. In January 2019, Lifetime premiered Surviving R. Kelly, a six-part docuseries that detailed the allegations against Kelly. It featured accounts from multiple women who say they escaped Kelly’s “cult” and interviews with some of the women’s parents. Amongst interviews are Jocelyn Savage and Azriel Clary’s parents. Who believe Kelly is holding their daughters against their will or have brainwashed them. Again, Robert Kelly has denied everything.

Below, we have analyzed some red flags and potential behavioral patterns of batterers that stood out during this interview.

RED FLAG #1: R. Kelly says, “Rescue someone that doesn’t need rescuing cause they’re not in my house.” However, a video soon to follow shows him confessing to his relationships with 23-year-old Jocelyn Savage and 21-year-old Azriel Clary. According to their parents, the two young women need to be rescued. The question is, are they in the house or not? If they are in the house willingly, why won’t they talk to their parents?

RED FLAG #2: He’s stated that he doesn’t know what a cult is, which is problematic. If he doesn’t know what a cult is, how can he be sure that he doesn’t have one?

RED FLAG #3: When speaking on the docuseries, Surviving R. Kelly, Kelly says, “Everyone said something bad about me. Nobody said nothing good. They were describing Lucifer.” It is true that the women addressed R. Kelly and Robert as two different people. Most of the women said great things about R. Kelly, and described Robert as Lucifer in the sense that he’s a charismatic charmer that sings his way into people’s hearts. Before delving into Robert’s sexual behaviors, they spoke A LOT about R. Kelly being a sweet and caring man who would give the world to the people around him, but when Robert takes over, it’s scary.

RED FLAG #4: When R. Kelly starts crying, I can’t say that I don’t think he’s hurting. However, I do believe that his tears stem from a different source of pain. Think for a second. Have you ever witnessed a man cry when he realizes something in his life is being taken from him? Most times, men don’t cry because they feel bad. They cry because they’ve been caught or don’t know how to fix the problem. He feels like shit because he is now realizing everything he did in the past and the present is catching up with him. He can’t find an escape route. This is my perception of R. Kelly’s pain.

EXAMPLE: Society for the most part, doesn’t accept underage dating and it’s illegal. In some states, parents can sign their children over to a spouse from the age of sixteen. Also, there are men in certain neighborhoods that prey on younger, more vulnerable women. It makes them seem more manly to have young women chasing after them. If R. Kelly surrounds himself by a crowd of people that encourage his actions, why would he change? At that point, neither the law nor outside opinions matter to him. Who is going to finally stand up and tell R. Kelly, “No”? What consequences will he face? Consider this as you listen to his outbursts.

He uses the words, “ABDUCTED, RAPED, and CHAINED” when describing women that really need help. Again, the women that are in his alleged “cult” are technically not being held against their will, but if the allegations are correct, he has psychologically brainwashed them. They may not be in physical bondage, but they’re definitely in bondage.

RED FLAG #5: I believe that R. Kelly truly thinks his behaviors, minor or extreme, are unproblematic. It’s actually pretty scary to watch/hear because R. Kelly is far from the first who hasn’t comprehended their wrongdoing, nor will he be the last.

He even speaks about arresting himself if his daughters were said to be enduring the same abuse that he’s allegedly guilty of. WHAT??? I can’t! Help him PLEASE!!!

RED FLAG #6: R. Kelly says, “How come it was okay for me to see them until they wasn’t getting no money from me…What kind of a father, what kind of mother would sell their daughter to a man?”

He still doesn’t fully understand what he’s saying. He literally admitted to buying two young women from their parents. If he did purchase these young women, keep in mind that Azriel Clary was 17-year-old when they met. Clary is now 21-years-old and according to Kelly, the two are now in a romantic relationship. If that’s the case, is he expecting people to believe that he waited until she was 18-years-old to legally engage in sexual intercourse with her? If there was no sexual intercourse between the two, was romance a NO altogether? This whole damn scenario is messed up. R. Kelly should not be dating or interested in anyone younger than 21-years-old. He needs help ASAP.

“An emotionally abusive partner will systematically and intentionally try to separate the victim from their external network of support: friends, family, co-workers, clergy. This is designed to make the victim solely dependent upon the abuser and to decrease the likelihood that others will witness the abuse. The more a victim is isolated, the harder it is for them to be connected to the resources they need to escape the relationship.” ― Ferentz HUFFPOST

Recognizing the Signs: I’m not sure if anyone else picked up on this, but R. Kelly shows many signs that are common of an abuser.

Sign 1: He talked over King every time she spoke. This shows that he is used to controlling a conversation. Also, he stood up and started yelling, which is a sign of a verbal and emotional abusers. They use their dominance to show people that they’re in charge.

Sign 2: He wouldn’t take responsibility for any of his actions.

“It’s extremely rare for an emotionally abusive partner to take responsibility for his or her behavior. Their tactic is to project responsibility or fault onto their partner. They will deceptively twist reality, distort the truth or outright lie to make the case that their partner is to blame. The subject matter becomes irrelevant as the emotionally abusive partner sidesteps responsibility at all cost.” ― Carol A. Lambert, psychotherapist and author of Women With Controlling Partners HUFFPOST

I’m sure there are other things that I didn’t catch. If you can identify any other signs or red flags that you’re willing to discuss, comment below!

Jordyn Woods Joins The Red Table Talk To Tell Her Story!!!

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Jordyn Woods shares her story with Jada Pinkett Smith on The Red Table Talk.

Last week, a story broke out that Jordyn Woods and Khloe Kardashian’s boyfriend Tristan Thompson allegedly had an affair. Woods has denied all allegations; because of this, she has been called a liar by the Kardashian family and the public, along with receiving threatening messages to her and her family. With so much confusion revolving around the story, Woods tries to tell her story. Jada Pinkett Smith has known Jordyn Woods her whole life and has been close to the Kardashian family for some time. Jada voices that this has impacted all three families, but Jordyn needs to let the world know the truth.

After listening to the entire video, I have to say I believe Jordyn. Not saying that I can’t be wrong, but everything she says seems like something that could happen to anyone. She doesn’t make up some elaborate story to convince us. It is the most generic story, nothing to question or consider.

We all can agree, and Jordyn says it often that she shouldn’t have allowed herself to follow the other ladies to Tristan’s house. It was inappropriate, and she acknowledges that many times.

I do want to explore the comments on her being drunk, as all these blogs feel the need to pick at her for mentioning the alcohol. Let’s be clear; alcohol surfaces a lot of built-up energy or feelings that one may have. People are making it seem like she is making an excuse. That isn’t an excuse; It’s the truth. She describes her sitting next to Tristan and how their feet touched. Inappropriate, but this is the only thing that raises a red flag for me. It seems like Jordyn may have had a connection with Tristan before this event. Not something that would cause cheating but a feeling that possibly lingered in the air when they’re in the room together. Something that neither one of them really acknowledged or perhaps just ignored.

Jada Pinkett Smith says it many times that everyone has been in a situation like this or similar. I’m not saying that the Kardashians should forgive her. I’m just saying these kinds of things are more common than not. It doesn’t matter who you are. We only learn from them and move the hell on.

When someone tells their story, it doesn’t always have to be that they are looking for attention. Sometimes people make mistakes and want to make it known that they made a mistake. It is possible someone can be genuine. Again I don’t remember whether Jordyn Woods is lying or not, but I won’t dismiss her apology just because people feel she wants attention. If that’s the case, no one would come out and say anything they’ve done or been through because, unfortunately, the world we live in, people love scandals that will bring them attention.

For the trollers…with all of the cases of people committing suicide because of bullying, it’s also inappropriate to send someone messages stating things like “That’s why your father deserved to die” and “I hope you die.” Hateful rhetoric is disgusting, and no one should ever speak to someone like that, especially not because of an alleged affair. Let’s be frank the Kardashians don’t know half of you who are “defending” them. You aren’t getting your bills paid, and you’re not going to become their best friends. You’re just fueling an issue that, when you go home at night, has nothing to do with your real life. Grow Up! These people are hurting and don’t need your petty and childish insults.

The ‘Emancipation of Strong Women’ Event

On January 17, 2019 we OnPointCelebz held a ‘Emancipation of Strong Women’ event to promote wellness and woman empowerment. We had a wonderful turnout with six beautiful women that expressed themselves fully and wholly to establish something about themselves that make them feel empowered. They all came up with a word that represents them as a person. Then they designed a shirt writing OnPoint ‘N’ filling in the blank with their word. The process was the best part of the entire event. What we enjoyed the most about this event is how the women worked together to establish their word. They motivated each other while designing their shirts. The room was full of excitement and respect. Watching these women work together inspiring each other was simply amazing. We will do another event with more beautiful and talented women soon. We were assisted by Jazmyne Brooking Founder and CEO of Refine Entertainment. Below are more picture from the event.

img_1220                                                                     @K_elizaaa

img_1307                                                               @outta_my_chelle

img_1161                                                                 @ghanaian_empress

img_1143                                                              @yung.pupusa

img_1197                                               @therealjazmynebrooking
img_0197                                                                        @kry.johns

(Finding Myself In You) Chapter 2: Connections

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The next morning, I wake up to Turner sleeping next to me. I stare at him as he sleeps, and I begin thinking about what it could be. The uncertainty is the reason we’ve set rules, which obviously have been broken more than a few times. I climb out of the bed making my way to the kitchen to make coffee.

I grab my laptop, turn it on, and start answering emails. When the pot boils, I grab two cups and pour coffee into both. That’s when I hear Turner walking from the bedroom. He comes behind me, kisses me on my neck, and I hold up the cup of coffee. He grabs it and takes a sip.

After a few seconds of silence Turner then says, “How come your furniture isn’t assembled yet?”

I look away from the computer, glancing around the room and reply, “I haven’t had time”

“You know I can get some of my friends and we can come over here to fix up the whole apartment in a day”, He says observing the room.

It’s Okay, I don’t want to cause any inconvenience for anyone”

“It’s not inconvenient I’m offering”

“It’s Okay, you don’t have to”

“I want to”, He says about to make a phone call.

I put my hand over his phone while saying, “Seriously Turner it’s okay”

“Why do you…never mind”, Turner stops, puts his coffee down and walks to the room. I grab his hand saying, “Wait! Where are you going?”

“I think I overstayed my welcome, again”, he says with his head down.

“I never said that”, I reply to make him feel better.

“You didn’t have to”, he says before he walks to the bedroom. I remain in the kitchen sipping on my coffee thinking about what I can say to make him feel better. I don’t know what he expects me to say. Finally, he walks back into the kitchen fully dressed. He kisses me on the forehead and says, “I’ll call you” and walks to the front door. I follow behind him, trying to get his attention, but he isn’t interested in anything I have to say. As he leaves the apartment, I watch him walk down the hall. When he disappears in the distance, I notice that my neighbor is standing at his door. I’m not actually sure why he is standing there, I’m hoping that Turner and I did not disturb him.

It’s been about two weeks since the argument with Turner. I haven’t seen or heard from him. I want to call him, but I also want to give him his space. Every time I’m around him, he makes me think of our future together, but I don’t know if he’s the one for me. As I’m pondering my thoughts my phone rings.

“Hello”, I say trying to focus.

“How is the move treating you?”, says Linda.

“I guess it’s not so bad, I’m getting a lot of work done”, I reply.

“What about Harvard?”, she asks.

“Well the acceptance letter hasn’t come yet”, I say as my voice drops again.

“I can hear it in your voice, don’t worry you will get in”, Linda says trying to lighten the mood.

“I hope you’re right, I’ve just been really stressed out with this whole thing”

“Well maybe I can bring some light to all of this”

“What you got for me?”, I say a bit excited to hear her news.

“There’s a writing summit going to Massachusetts. The committee wants to meet The Romance Queen.”

“What company?”, I ask wanting to know more.

“Lively, I know it’s nothing extravagant but it’s important that you get involved with something while you’re in Massachusetts. It’ll make your time there better and you can network”

“OK! Send me all the information”, I say trying to hold back my smile, but I feel like she can hear it through the phone.

“Perfect! I’ll talk to you later. If you have any questions just call me up, I’m always here for you”, Linda says.

“Thank you! I know”, I say before hanging up the phone.

Moments later I receive Linda’s email. It lays out the full details about Lively and what they’ve been doing in the community. I’m quite impressed by all their recent accomplishments, the company has been doing remarkable things. The CEO of Lively set up a day for me to meet with her. Her name is Cynthia Rye. When I finally met her, we spoke about the purpose of the summit and about the company branching into publication. She also expressed her interest in me joining their team. I know Linda isn’t going to be happy about their proposal. I’m completely interested in partaking in the event, but I have to deny the publication offer. Linda has done so much for me the last couple years, it would be rude of me to just leave her for a better offer. Once all the details were finalized, I emailed Linda with all the details, she was quite happy for me as usual.

About a week has passed and still no Harvard letter.

I make my way to the lobby to Ann to tell her how my day has been going. Before I can even get a word out, she has my mail on the counter with the Harvard letter on top. I can’t say a word. I just stand there and stare at the letter for a few moments.

Ann says, “So you just going to stand there? Open it!”

I reach my hand out to grab the letter but quickly hesitate, “I can’t! I can’t open it?”

“Okay then, I’ll open it”, she says as she grabs the letter.

“Yeah that’s a good idea”, I say smiling while making eye contact with her. She rips open the letter slowly and begins reading. She has a straight face as she is reading through the letter, I begin to get really nervous because she has no emotion while reading it. Then she puts the letter down on the table and looks back up at me. I can see the disappointment on her face as she says, “I’m sorry Hun”

“What? What did it say?”, I say as I grab the letter off the table and begin reading myself. As I’m reading through the letter, I begin feeling a tear roll down my face and my heart explode.

“Logan I’m so sorry”, Ann says to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Suddenly the tear rolling down my face begin falling harder. Ann hugs me, I feel so many emotions at once I can’t handle it. Michael comes walking down the steps with his dog. I quickly wipe my tears and clean up my face before he gets to the front desk. When Ann notices him she says, “Hey Michael I have something important for you”

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She reaches over her desk and grabs another envelope. And she hands it to him I notice it is in the same packaging as the one I just opened. That’s when it hit me, Michael too had applied for Harvard University. He grabs the envelope and says, “Wish me luck” he then winks at me just before walking away. I wait until he is completely out of sight and I turn to Ann and say, “So were you going to tell me that he applied for Harvard to?”

“That’s something you just gonna have to find out for yourself”, she says smiling.

“So now you’re withholding information from me?”, I say playfully.

Ann folds her arms and perks her lips, “More like trying to get you to woman up”

“It doesn’t even matter now because he probably got in and I’m just not smart enough”

“I never want to hear you tell yourself something like that ever again. You are smart enough, your are the same smart young woman they got a book deal to publish and travel the country”

“I guess you’re right”, I say as I try to control my emotions.

“I know I’m right”, she says as she hugs me. I head back upstairs to make that depressing phone call to my mother to tell her that I have failed. I’ve moved to a state that I know nothing about, to go to school that obviously doesn’t think I’m capable.

After finding out that I was rejected from Harvard, I want to reevaluate my life to find out what I actually want. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to go to Harvard and I will once I get myself together. Linda and I have been discussing a way to make my image more appealing to the Harvard board. She attended Harvard and knows a few people that work in admissions. They told her that my writing was missing authenticity and I should work on finding myself within my writing and come back either next semester or next year.
I stare at the blank white screen sipping my wine for what seems to be two hours. I’m sitting around the small work table on my balcony, usually I would be enjoying the phenomenal weather. As I stare at the paper the tears finally come rolling down my face. I can no longer hold it in, I feel like a complete failure, the more I try to wipe the tears away the more they run down. The whole time I’ve been outside so has Michael’s dog; Pretty. Pretty and I have become good friends over the last couple months. I even feed her sometimes when she’s on the balcony. She is calmly playing with her toys until she hears me. She’s always hyperactive because she’s still a puppy but she’s huge in size. I look up with tears still falling from my eyes.

Pretty jumps from Michael’s balcony to mine. I’m startled because she has never done this before. She jumps on me and looks me directly in the eye, as if she knows how I’m feeling. We both have a moment then she licks me on my face, which brings a smile to my face. I start petting her and she starts barking. Michael’s balcony door opens with him saying, “You ready to come inside?” He notices that Pretty is missing. He stepped out on the balcony with no shirt. Pretty barks and Michael looks over at us to see her on my lap and I am still petting her. At this point Michael is extremely confused, “How did he…”

“I’m thinking the same thing”, I say trying to smile and wiping my eyes to contain my tears.

“I’m coming over to get her”, Michael says as he walks back into the house and close the balcony door. I get up from my chair and walk Pretty into the house towards the front door. I hear a knock on the door and I slowly make my way to open it. Michael is standing in front of me with a T-shirt that he just threw on and sweatpants. Still confused he tries to figure out what exactly happened. After a few moments he snaps out of his daze and says, “Lets go girl”, she hesitates for a moment then Michael says, “Come on pretty”. Finally she runs over to him and he connects the leash to her collar. He looks back up at me and says, “I’m sorry about that”. Still trying to clear myself of all the sniffing I’m doing I reply, “It’s no problem at all, she’s a sweetheart”. This time he stands up and looks me directly in the eye and says, “Is there something wrong?”

“Of course not”

“OK! So I see you applied for Harvard”, he says with a smile.

“How do you know that?”, I ask

“I saw the envelope in your hand yesterday when you walked by”

“Yes I did apply”

“That’s great what are you going for”

“If I had gotten in, I would be going for romance literature”

“Did you see if you got in?”

There was a moment of silence then Michael says, “Oh! That’s why you are crying”

“I’m not crying”

“Your eyes are bloodshot red and you won’t stop snuffling”

I don’t know what to say, all of it is true. I just take a deep breath and say, “yeah! But I’ll be fine”

“If you don’t mind I’m gonna put Pretty in the house, and I’m gonna come right back.”

“You don’t have to”

“It’s not a problem, I’ll be right back”, he says before he takes Pretty into the house. I can’t make myself look better because now he has seen me at my worst. I don’t know what we’re gonna talk about but, I’ve been waiting for this day. All the stars are roaming through my mind until he appears in front of me again.

“Can I come in?”, he says trying to break the awkwardness.

I step aside and let him walk into the house. As he walking into the apartment I can tell that he’s observing everything. That’s when I ask, “Would you like some coffee?”

“Yeah Thanks!”, he continues, “Your are moving already?”

I pour two cups of coffee and walk over to where he’s standing and hand him a cup while saying, “No! I’m not moving. I just haven’t had a chance to decorate the apartment between this Harvard stuff and my job, it’s hard to find time and I didn’t know anyone here”

“Don’t worry about it I can have this whole apartment put together in a day”

“I promise you it’s not a big deal, I’ll get to it one day”

“Well I’m free tomorrow, so I’ll do it then”

I want badly to say something back, but everything I would say would be a lie. I know I told Turner I didn’t want him to fix my apartment with his friends, and now Michael is offering and I can’t tell him no. He looks at me waiting for me to come up with another excuse but I can’t, I’m deeply in trance with his eyes and the way he looks at me. We play the staring game for it seemed to be a good five minutes and just silence. Finally I say, “Tell me a little bit about yourself”

“What do you want to know?”, he says looking at me as he takes a sip of the coffee.

“What brought you to Massachusetts?”

“Mostly school, I was attending St. Parter community college then decided I wanted to attend Ivy League school. So I upped and left when I applied for Harvard”

“Kind of sounds like my story, other than the fact that I didn’t get in”

“It’s more like your story than you think”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t get in either”

“Really?”

“I’m glad you’re surprised”

I stand there staring at him for a moment before I continue speaking, “I’m sorry I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t say anything shit happens”

“What program did you apply for?”

“School of Law”

“Really? What kind of law are you interested in?”

“Criminal”

“That’s intense”

“I can handle it”

“So your are here alone too?”

“Yeah but…”

“But what?”

“I’m here most of the time by myself but I do live with my girlfriend. She travels half the year so she’s not here much”

“Your girlfriend?”

“She travels for a living”

I keep sipping my coffee and nod my head. I have never seen this so called girlfriend before, not once. Ann hasn’t mentioned it to me either. I finally got him alone to find out that he is a committed relationship.

“Are you in a relationship?”

“Oh no! Not at all”

“Why you say it like that?”

“No reason, I just don’t have time to commit to someone right now”

“I said that same line before I met my girlfriend”

“Sounds sweet”

“So you and that guy aren’t serious?”

“Who Turner?…How do you?…”

“We’ve bumped into one another a few times. He’s a cool guy”

My crush and my fuck buddy have been chatting it up together. I could just die as the word leaves his lips. I’m so embarrassed. I shouldn’t be because he has a girlfriend, but yet I can feel my body getting warmer by the minute. I try to act as if everything is Okay, “Yeah he is but we’re not there yet”. We continue talking for two hours. Honestly we aren’t talking about anything important, it just seems that the company is all we want. We talk about school and random things going on in the world. You would think that we are old friends that haven’t seen each other in a while. Being around him makes me feel relaxed, like I don’t have to try to impress him. A few times while we are talking we lock eyes and there’s an awkward silence but not too awkward for either one of us to leave. In the middle of our conversation while we are having one of our awkward silent moments again my phone begins to ring. On the screen Turner’s name pops up. Both of our eyes lock to the phone and I quickly hold down the power button watching the screen go black. I try to continue speaking but Michael says as he stands up, “You should get that, I’ve got something I need to take care of before the end of the night anyway”. I also stand and say, “Are you sure?” What exactly do I mean by is he sure? He’s right there is no real reason for him to be here anymore but I just don’t want him to leave. I can’t tell him this especially after he tells me he has a girlfriend. He smiles at me and says, “I’m sure”. He then walked to the front door, pauses for a second, and walks out closing the door behind himself. I sit on the couch still pondering my thoughts and still trying to figure out what just happened.

A few hours later Turner arrives at my apartment. We talk for a bit about how our day went excluding my encounter with Michael. After a while we end up in the bedroom doing the usual. There’s something about Turner that I can’t completely shake, but I can’t see myself with him, but in a way I can. The next morning I’m laying next to Turner watching him sleep. I’m such a sucker that I can’t tell him to leave. I just have to let him get angry enough to leave himself. He’s such a good guy but something doesn’t feel right. I don’t know what it is but as usual he gets fed up with my running around in circles and he leaves. I wish I didn’t have to do this to him but he doesn’t get it. I feel like Turner feels the exact way I do. I don’t think I want a relationship right now. We spoke about relationships and he is a firm believer of separation with togetherness. Which in his word means both people should have their own and keep their own but still acknowledge their relationship together.

A few days pass and all I can think about is Michael seeing Turner’s name on my cell phone screen. Every time we pass one another there’s a quick hello but no real interaction. After our first real conversation I feel that Michael and I will be good friends, nothing more, just someone to talk to that can relate. Well in my apartment trying to post on my blog, I still have this Michael situation in my head. That’s when my doorbell rings. I put the finishing touches on my last sentence then publish. I close my laptop and walk to the door, when I look through the peephole Michael is standing there. I take a deep breath in and out trying to compose myself. I take another deep breath in and out and slowly open the door with a smile. As I open the door pretty can’t wait to jump all over me. I laugh as I pet her on both of her ears. She then rolls over and I pet her stomach. That’s when I look up at Michael and say, “What do I owe this visit?”

He says with a bag of tools in his hand, “I’ve been busy the last few days but I told you I would help you assemble your furniture”.

“You really don’t have to”

Michael says as he steps over Pretty that I’m still petting and says, “I want to” he then looks back at me and smiles then turns back to the living room and says, “I’ll start here”. I watched him as he put together my centerpiece table for my living room, all of the paintings, The dresser and side table drawer in my bedroom, and my dining room table. Halfway through he asked me if I was Okay with him taking his shirt off because it was hot. Of course I told him I don’t mind at all but I can’t help but think about all the things that I couldn’t do to him. Most of the time we conversed about different subjects. I tried to distract myself from bothering him or even looking at him. After he finishes assembling everything I looked around my apartment going through each room amazed, that my apartment looked that good.

“Thank you so much”

“No problem”, he says as he puts his shirt back on. Right before he walks out the front door he looks back at me and says, “Pretty nice apartment you have here” we both chuckle for a few seconds and then he calls out, “Pretty let’s go”. Pretty barks and she follows him out of the door.

I walk back to the kitchen and lean on the counter, reflecting on the last couple hours. Did we just have a connection? This is supposed to just be a crush. I can’t…I don’t have time to think about a man. What is wrong with me?

To Be Continued…

Kofi Siriboe’s short film “Jump” Identifies Mental Health

Actor Kofi Siriboe tackles Mental Health stigma in the Black Community with  short Film - DefenderNetwork.com

Kofi Siriboe released his short film “Jump” yesterday and it has already been getting buzz. The film follows Ziggy, a African American male that is detached from reality. Ziggy continues to see a young girl that is telling him to follow her, but every time he finds her, no one is ACTUALLY there. He repeats the words, “I don’t wanna live, I don’t wanna die”, directly signifying his complex with living a life of depression and actually not wanting to ending the life he know (with friends) but doesn’t enjoy. His friend tries to reach out to him but he’s not interested in hanging out or talking. It ends with Ziggy on the bridge considering what to do next…

I’m proud of Kofi Siriboe for this wonderful film. Keep up the good work! OnPoint!

Check out the short film below:

(Finding Myself In You) Chapter 1: Changes

***FAN FICTION***

Related imageI walk into the main hallway of my apartment building. Observing everything around me from the marble tile on the floors to the immaculate chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the hall, with a circular table directly under it. As I walk in from the street there is a white couch on the left side of the lobby right across from the attendant desk. I walk over to the front desk and smile at the attendant sitting behind the desk. Her name is Ann, ever since I’ve moved into the apartment, a few months ago, she has been my only friend. Ann is 35 years old and she has a husband and two kids, one boy one girl; the girl is seven years old and the boy is nine years old. She shows me pictures of her family all the time and tells me beautiful stories about them too. It makes me feel more comfortable with my move from California to Massachusetts. Sometimes I think I made a bad decision, but Ann makes it all better.

About two years ago I received a book deal that still seems unbelievable. I’d been blogging for a while about romance. It started off as a hobby. Slowly I began getting subscribers and people responding to all the articles I was posting. Eventually my fan base spiked to over 4 million subscribers. Throughout the beginning days of my success no one knew who I was. I never revealed my name, I just refer to myself as the ‘Romance Queen’. It became a phenomenon that people would hashtag ‘Romance Queen’ on their social media post, hoping that I would give them advice. I would spend hours on only trying to respond to people through social media and through my personal website. One day a lady by the name of Linda Fox sent me an email saying that she had an extraordinary opportunity for me. I ignored her first email because I thought it was a scam, but she sent another message through social media. I did some research on her and she is well known in the industry as an author. Linda and I set up a day to meet, but I was nervous about revealing my identity to someone. I decided to send my best friend, Cindy to my meeting for me. Turns out it’s the headquarters for a company called ‘Elite Women’ which is focused on giving talented women a platform to brand themselves. They aren’t a huge company by they have many wealthy investors. Long story short they drew up a contract for me to publish a book by the ‘Romance Queen’. I didn’t know anything about writing or how I would go about writing a book, but I had the help of their editors. Once I finished my first book I titled it ‘Secrets to Keep Your Romance on Fire’. In the book I talk about things a lot of my subscribers have never read by me. I let it all out, it’s the raw truth. The only thing that really upset me was that I didn’t know much about the art of writing. I spoke to my team and voiced that I would like to go back to school, and they mentioned that I wouldn’t have been the first one to do so through the company. I immediately did some research on the top schools for literature and romance and I was pointed to the one and only Harvard University. I was determined to go back to school, but I was dreading, that I had to go to Massachusetts. I picked up everything I had and moved. I still speak to my friends here in there and my parents. ‘Elite Women’ are supportive of me expanding my knowledge in literature, they’ve even offered to help me financially. I know in all actuality they just want a few more books out of me. I sent in my application for Harvard University before I moved, hoping that I wouldn’t have to wait long before I got accepted. I’ve had Ann on lookout for my acceptance letter since I moved in.
“Good Morning”, Ann says as she smiles.
“Good Morning”, I say returning the smile.
“Here’s the mail that I have for you today”, she says slightly disappointed.
“The anticipation is killing me”, I say going through the mail.

“You will get in”, she says sincerely.
Ann reminds me of my mother because she always tries to encourage me, which is something I need right now.

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The next thing I know my next-door neighbor, Michael comes walking down the spiral steps and Ann does this eyebrow thing to indicate that he’s coming. I have been crushing on Michael since the moment I walked into this building. The first day I saw him he was returning from a morning run. I was struggling to get my bags in the building and he offered to take them upstairs for me. Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about him. I haven’t been able to have a full-length conversation with him because of the way he makes me feel. Anything I know about him is from Ann and I have a feeling she’s not telling me everything. No guy has ever made me feel the way Michael does. I’m usually very straightforward but whenever he’s around I normally just leave the scene. Before I see him, his pit-bull ‘Pretty’ starts licking my leg. I smile and pet her then I see him in a T-shirt, sweatpants and flip-flops; the norm.
“I apologize, she can’t help herself”, he says.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind”, I say before looking up at him. Every time we make eye contact there’s this weird tension between us. I just step back, grab my mail, and head up to my apartment. Once I get in my apartment I head straight to my office, which is the only room that is assembled and organized. Although the book is done I still have to keep up with regular blog post that have gotten more frequent and come up with more ideas for book two. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed. I haven’t had time to decorate my apartment, the same way the movers brought the things in, is the same way that they still are. This is when I wish I had my friends or family to help me.
I spent the next hour making post after post, responding to all the people with romance issues. Being the romance queen. Suddenly I hear a knock at the door, I quickly get up because I know exactly who it is. When I open the door, Turner stands in front of me. I step aside so that he can walk into the apartment and I hear rattling of keys to the apartment next to mine. Once I put my head out to look no one standing there but the door shuts. I walked back into my apartment and close the door behind myself. Then turn back to my house guest and smile. He slowly walked up to me and begins kissing me.

By: Domonique Hume

Comment Below…Thanks for reading!!! MuaH!!!

***FAN FICTION***

WINNERS OF THE 2018 BET AWARDS

Best Actress Award – TIFFANY HADDISH

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Lifetime Achievement Award – ANITA BAKER

Best Group Award – MIGOS

Best Collaboration Award – WILD THOUGHTS – DJ KHALAD, RIHANNA, BRYSON TILLER

New Artist Award – SZA

International Act Award – DAVIDO

Male R&B/Pop Artist Award – BRUNO MARS

Video of The Year Award – DRAKE – GOD’S PLAN

Viewer’s Choice Award – CARDI B

Movie of The Year – BLACK PANTHER

Gospel/Inspirational Artist Award – LECRAE FT. TORY KELLY – I’LL FIND YOU

Sportsman of The Year – LeBron JAMES

Best Actor Award – CHADWICK BOSEMAN

Young Stars Award – YARA SHAHIDI

Sportswoman of The Year – SERENA WILLIAMS

BET Her Award – MARY J. BLIGE – STRENGTH OF A WOMAN

Video Director of The Year – AVA DUVERNAY

Female R&B/Pop Artist Award – BEYONCE

Female Hip-Hop Artist Award – CARDI B

Male Hip-Hop Artist Award – KENDRICK LAMAR

Album of The Year – KENDRICK LAMAR – DAMN

NEW VIDEO: YG ft. 2 Chainz, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj – Big Bank

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Rapper YG released a visual for the track “Big Bank” featuring Nicki Minaj, Big Sean and 2 Chainz. The track will be featured on his Stay Dangerous upcoming album.

The non-stop visual feast features 2 Chainz delivering his verse while two police officers hold him at gunpoint, Big Sean parading around the Oval Office in a Colin Kaepernick jersey and Nicki Minaj atop a pink plastic horse.

The song’s producer DJ Mustard also makes a cameo; “Big Bank” marks a reunion of sorts between the rapper and the producer behind his 2014 debut LP My Krazy Life, after which the two had a much-publicized rift. According to DJ Mustard, the pair made the song “in 20 minutes.”

Stay Dangerous, YG’s follow-up to 2016’s Still Brazy, arrives “Summer 2018,” according to the album’s preorder page. On August 5th, YG will host a Stay Dangerous concert and 4Hunnid fashion show at Los Angeles’ Microsoft Theatre; every ticket to the show comes with a digital download of the rapper’s new LP.

NEW VIDEO: Chris Brown – To My Bed

Chris Brown released the video for ‘To My Bed’ this afternoon. The track is off of Brown’s album Heartbreak On A Full Moon. He’s about to head out on tour with 6LACK. Rich The Kid and H.E.R. which should be epic.

Check out the video below: