(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 1 : Seeing Trey Hurts


I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out, especially with all the hype about Trey being in town. I knew inside of me, seeing him would definitely make my day, but I didn’t know if he would feel the same after our last encounter.

Two weeks ago Trey and I attended an event for American Veterans. I had no idea Trey was going to attend this event, when I walked in and heard Trey’s name my heart dropped. I was torn. Considering this had been the first time Trey and I had seen one another since our break up. I didn’t make it my priority to speak to him, but it was hard not to. The military was honoring Trey for his “Your Side of the Bed” music video, which brought awareness to the way military families feel and the sacrifices they have to make. I was so proud of him because I knew how hard he worked to be where he is. What hurt the most was, I couldn’t tell him how I really felt.

At one point I was walking and Diana stopped me and said, “love your outfit”, and of course Trey was standing next to her staring while sipping on his champagne. I assumed he was waiting for me to acknowledge his presence. I was surprised that Diana had spoken to me since we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Diana is Trey’s personal assistant. I was wearing a long red dress, that fit tightly to my curves. It fell a little pass my knee with a long train in the back. The straps wrapped around my neck with a plunging cut in both the front and back.

“Thank you”, I said

“Is it Alexander McQueen? Seen something like that not too long ago”, She said sarcastically.

“Really?” I smiled as I continued to speak, “No, babe it’s a Christina Renee original”, making a three sixty in order for her to see the full dress.

“Nice”

The compliments I got were the highlight of my night but Trey kept presenting himself in every conversation I had. At the time I didn’t know if it was intentional or just me but I thought his efforts to get my attention was cute. Briana and I decided to get another drink from the bar. We work together but were also friends.

Briana has long red hair with a body to die for. She was wearing a short halter top tight fitted black dress. Briana is definitely more outspoken than I am. When I noticed that Trey was making his way towards the bar I quickly nudged Briana. Trey stood right next to me. I could feel his eyes piercing against my skin. I turned to the bar with hopes that he would walk away. Briana then shoved me out the way holding her hand out to shake Trey’s and said, “Hi I’m Briana”. Trey held his hand out to meet hers.

“Nice to meet you”, Trey Replied then looking at me, “And you are?”

Trey held out his hand for me to shake it. I held my hand out to meet his and replied, “Christina Renee”.

“Nice to meet you Christina Renee”, Trey said with a sarcastic smile. The few seconds we made eye contact went from innocent to sexual. I had to immediately break contact. It seemed as if we were talking to one another for the first time again. I would have said something back but because Briana had no knowledge of our past I decided to play along.

Briana interjected, “So I see you’re the man of the hour, Congratulations”

Trey replied, “Thank you, but I’m just glad I could be the one to bring awareness to the situation”.

“I understand, we both are daughters of military men so we know what it’s like”

I tried to keep myself out of the conversation as much as possible. So I would just nod my head and agree with everything that was being said. I was at this prestigious event I was originally not supposed to be at but was invited at the last minute because of my relationship with the sponsors. Then to find out that my ex is the one being honored at this event. It was a lot to take in at once.

When the night was over Briana and I said good night to one another and went our separate ways. As I was waiting for my car Trey and his assistant stood next to me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” said Trey’s assistant sarcastically.

“Yes, it was amazing”, I said with a smile

I wasn’t sure if Diana didn’t like me because of what happened but I did not appreciate the sarcasm she kept giving me. She was acting as if he was her man and not her boss.

“That’s great”, as her car pulled up she said, “Have a good night”, jumped into the car and drove off.

After she left, Trey stood still next to me waiting for his car. I was a little uncomfortable and confused. I looked in the opposite direction to make the situation less awkward.

“Is that your way of ignoring me?”, Trey said smiling.

I turned to him confused, “How can I ignore someone who isn’t talking to me?” I replied.

Both of our cars pulled up at the same time. I was freaked out how things were working out. It all seemed planned in some strange way.

“Were you working tonight?”

“Excuse me, is that really the first thing you can say to me?”

I began walking to my car when Trey grabbed my hand, “Is this how you want to end the night?”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said with an attitude.

“Many”

“Well keep them for a female who wants to hear it, and we both know that’s many”, I tugged my hand from his grip, got into my car, and drove off. I didn’t intend to be so mean, it just came out. It upset me that he would ask me about work knowing our situation. Sometimes living this type of life can really affect your personal life. Ever since that night I have been getting calls and emails from Trey but I haven’t answered.

TO BE CONTINUED…

P.S All Stories are Fictional!

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(It’s Because I Love You) Chapter 9 – Victoria Has Good News

VICTORIA

I know it’s absolutely ridiculous, that I can even be upset with him. I’m pissed off with the both of them. I don’t have a good reason but I am. Victoria standings in front of me telling me all this and she wants me to be happy. Why exactly would I be happy? Then again she doesn’t even know. I wonder if I should tell her? But if I tell her would she think different of me? She would probably call me a liar and a backstabber. I don’t know if she would ever trust me again.

“Christina are you even listening to me?”, Victoria asks as she snaps her finger in my face. I quickly snap back to the conversation, “My bad I was thinking about something else”. She shook her head and drops herself onto the couch, “Well can you please come back to earth, because I really need your help to make a decision”. This is the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard in my life. She wants me to help her make a decision, on whether she should move in with my man. I have no right to say my man but that’s the way it has always been. “Okay, do you really want to move in with him?”. Victoria is silent for a second before actually responding to me, “I think I do. I don’t know what it is, about him he makes me feel different. I wasn’t looking to feel anything but I do. I don’t want to make a dumb mistake but he’s pulling in every word. I’ve never been so valuable to anyone. Christina you don’t even understand, this shit got me twisted. Embarrassing for me to say out loud”.

CHRISTINA

She said this shit got her twisted, This shit got me twisted. Victoria is a woman, who doesn’t fall for anyone. Has now fallen in love with Omar. I really wish this is a joke she’s playing.

“Damnit Christina, are you even listening to me? Every time that you’re complaining about Trey, I listen. Even when I think what you’re saying is dumb, I still listen. Now I’m dealing with this shit and you keep tuning out. I find that very disrespectful”, she says that she gets up off the couch and stands directly in front of me.

“I promise you I’m not doing it intentionally, but I have a lot going on right now. I promise I’m listening”, I said trying to convince her continuing, “If you feel like that’s the best decision for you, then follow your heart. Don’t do it with the intention that you’re going to get something out of it. Just be genuine”. My began phone ringing. When I look at the screen, a smile appeared on my face. I quickly pick up the phone and respond with complete excitement, “Hey what’s up?”. The voice on the other end of the phone spoke, “I was just thinking about you and thought I’d call. I miss you already, maybe I overreacted maybe we can figure something out”. I’m listening to him speak smiling inside, then I look over at Victoria and a smile appears on my face, again. I then respond, “Oh really, that sounds great but I can’t talk right now. Victoria is over here giving me the best news”. The voice on the other end of the phone didn’t speak again. There’s silence on the phone for a couple seconds before I respond, “You too bye”. I’m laughing inside because I know what happens next. Omar is going to show up at my house. He’s going to try to convince me that what I have been told is far from the truth. He’s going to beg me to forgive him. I’ve played this game so many times and I’m ready for it this time.

“Who was that?”, Victoria ask as she flips through her phone. I just put my phone down and respond, “ my nosy ass cousin, that girl is so annoying”. Victoria looks up at me, “Your mother’s sisters daughter?”. I just quickly respond, “Yeah that one”.

“Back to what I was saying, should I do it?”, Victoria asks again. I know she only wants to hear one answer so I just tell her what she wants to hear, “Of course you should move in with him”. She jumps up off the couch and hug me ridiculously tight, “I knew you would give me the best advice”, she said as she grabs her things and run out of the front door.

After she leaves, I went in the bathroom to take a long hot shower. As I’m standing underneath the scorching hot water. I begin to think about everything that’s going on. The fog from the hot water fills the entire bathroom. All the pain I’ve been feeling isn’t in my control, but being underneath the hot water is all I can control. I stand there close to what seems like an hour, crying my eyes out. All of this doesn’t seem fair. Im always tried to play my cards right, I always try to be a good person but things, of this nature, always happens to me. After giving myself time from all the crying. I finally shut the water off and step out of the tub. I made my way to my bedroom and underneath my sheets. I toss and turn for an hour to get some sleep but nothing. After getting tired in the same spot I get up and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, hoping that would finally put me to sleep. As I turn on the stove, I heard a knock at the door. My first instinct told me to ignore it. I honestly don’t want to talk to anyone. Before I can continue, I heard rattling at the door. Speeding into the room, I grab the first shirt that I could find.

OMAR

Before I can walk back into the kitchen Omar stands right in front of me. Him appearing out of nowhere, almost makes me trip over my own foot as I step back. I forgot that Omar knows where I kept my spare key. Whenever he’s in the mood, he uses the key to let himself in and cooks for me. Whenever I have something on my mind, I eat with no guidance and Omar makes the best stress food. He makes his famous barbecue baked ribs, turkey neck collar greens, baked beans and cornbread. I always joke around telling him, he can make the perfect housewife with that kind of cooking. This is the side of Omar that many will never see. Omar and I have gotten into it so many times because of females. I have no right to get upset but I do. I’m so used to it now, that I just get upset for the steamy hot sex that occurs after our arguments. He stands in front of me are waiting for me to speak. I just act like he doesn’t exist and walk around him, to the kitchen, where the hot water is boiling on the stove. I walk over to the stove to turn it off but as I’m about to put my hand on the dial, Omar came from behind me and turns it off before I can. I can feel him breathing on my neck waiting for me utter my first words. He finally says, “Are you hungry?”. I ignore every word that came out of his mouth, reaching up into the cabinet to grab a teabag. He notices that I’m struggling so he grabs a teabag and places it in my cup and then pour the hot water on top of it. He knows how I like my tea. He finishes it up and handed it to me. Still not speaking to him, I grab my tea and took my first sip as I lean on the counter. “Are you going to at least say something?”, he says with frustration. I look at him and finally reply, “What exactly would you like me to say?”. He respond guilty, “ I don’t know, whatever you want to say, just say something”. I feel like I have the right not to speak to him. He’s the one that keeps making irrational decisions and this time its with my friend. Everything in me begin boiling so I just blurt out, “So are you really going to move in with her?”. He looks me directly in my eyes and shakes his head, “If she accepts, I have no choice but to allow her to move in. Besides I haven’t had a woman around the house in a while. I actually miss it”. Before I can even respond to his ignorance my phone rang. Omar looks at me waiting for me to make a move, so remain in the same position. After a few moments, he gets irritated and follows the ringing to finds my phone in the couch. When he picks it up the screen read Trey. I can see the anger in his face. He immediately answered the phone, “I’m gonna say this once, don’t call this number back again”. Before Trey gets a word out, Omar hangs up the phone then glances at me. “What the fuck is your problem”, I say as I rush over to him and grab my phone out of his hand continuing, “You have no fucking right to come in my house, pick up my phone and hang up on someone”. I view the last call and try to call back. As soon as the phone touches my ear he snatches the phone and ends the call. “Get out”, I try to say calmly. “I’m not going nowhere”, he says standing unapologetic in front of me. I want so bad to pick something up and hit him with it but I can’t. I just repeat myself with a more intense tone, “Get Out”. It takes everything out of me to keep my cool with this man. Eventually I’m out raged at the fact that Omar is standing in front of me refusing to leave my apartment. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but the next thing I know I had a knife in his face. As I’m standing here reflecting on the fact that I’m holding a knife in front of his face I gather my thoughts. Before I can actually put my knife down, Omar reaches in the back of his pants and pulling out his gun. Pointing it directly in my face he then says, “Christina put your knife down, this is not what you want to do right now”. The last time Omar and I went toted toe, it didn’t work out well. I’m standing here looking in his eyes. While crying my eyes out, I say once more, “Please get out”.

FICTIONAL!!!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Getting To Know Tuesday Knight Interview

1. Where did the name Tuesday Knight come from?

So it's definitely not exciting as it sounds. I use to go by my government name Shane Jackson. I always thought it sounded plain and generic. I mean Jackson is the most common name ever. It doesn't sound too rapper-ish I guess. Before I put my first mixtape I needed a rap name that I was going to stick to. And I couldn't think of anything and it happened to be Tuesday night. I was in the studio with my manager and I was explaining what do you think about the name Tuesday Night? There's a bunch of metaphor ways I can play that name. He was like "yo that's kind of dope." So I just kept Tuesday Night. That's when I chose the right name.

2. Can you describe yourself in three words?

Creative, passionate, and humble.

3. What college did you attend and what was your major?

I graduated from Cornell University and I went The School of Hotel Administration. My degree is in Hotel Administration.

4. How long after working did you realize that you wanted to do music instead?

I was working him in Manhattan at Warner Brothers for 3 1/2 years straight out of college, after I graduated, December 31, 2016.

5. How long have you been writing and rapping?

For fun, I would say I started between 13 and 14 years old. But seriously tried to make it a career I would say, about two years ago.

6. Where did your inspiration for the album come from?

My recent album spoke about the transition from corporate to music. So definitely this album was straight pool of inspiration from my real life. I just want to share the thought process behind my decision. If anybody else is going through this and having to make a hard decision in life, just do what makes you happy and what inspires you. It's basically what the album is about.

7. Do you have a special place for your writing?

No, I never really write down my lyrics either. I just constantly think about my lyrics. Everything is in my head so I could be walking and I can see things. Like nature inspired me to [to write]. I can see something while driving my car and say I can make that a dope line. I'm just constantly fighting constantly thinking things that I can say at a later time throughout my career; where people would say that I'm smart because I went to school and be able to leave a memory. I used to remember everything that the teacher said. I never took notes or anything. I can come up with a rap in my head whenever. I don't know I just have a good memory.

8. Do you have an artist that inspires you? Who?

I always go back to Nas, just because that was my introduction to hip-hop. I was born in the early 90s and it was huge. I have two brothers and we was bumping his music. So I was really brought up on listening to Nas. I knew all of his tracks and I was like 5 or 6 years old. That's what inspired me to start especially my style is the way he told stories in his rhymes. Now is definitely the inspiration for me.

9. What's the difference between the corporate industry and the music industry?

The ability to be creative. Which was what was holding me back from falling in love with the corporate industry. You have a boss to tell you what to do and usually there's only one way to do it. I just tell you do it this way. With rap I can be creative, do things the way I want to do them and how I think they should be done.

10. Where do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years?

Five years from now I just want to be making decent amount of money and music so I don't need another job. I'm real humble I don't care about being a millionaire and all that other stuff. If I could make $120 grand off of writing music even ghostwriting for other people. I would be completely content. Ten years from now I will be 36, I hope to take the rent money which is like entry level money and start investing in other things. Have my own businesses and have a family fortune, to include my family and friends and make sure all our bodies are good.

11. What do you want your legacy to be?

I want my legacy to be, that I was a relatable. I was able to make people feel what I was saying. I just want people to be able to relate to my music. And help them get through certain situations in life through my music. That's what I want my legacy to be.

12. Is there anything that your fans should look forward to seeing from you in the near future?

I'm currently working on two separate mixtapes. 2 to 5 track EP’s. There's a day vibe and a night vibe. I've already started working on my next album but who knows how long that's going to take.

2017 Oscar Winners

Best Actor in a Supporting Role 

Moonlight

Mahershala Ali 



Best MakeUp and Haistyling 

Suicide Squad

Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Nelson 



Best Costume Design

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

Colleen Atwood



Best Documentary Feature

OJ Made In America

Director Ezra Edelman 

Best Sound Editing

Arrival 

Sylvain Bellemare



Best Sound Mixing

Hacksaw Ridge

Kevin O’Connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie and Peter Grace



Best Actress In A Supporting Role
Fences

Viola Davis



Best Foriegn Language Film

The Salesman 

Asghar Farhadi



Best Animated Short Film

Piper

Alan Barillano and Marc Sondheimer 



Best Animated Feature Film

Zootopia 

Bryon Howard, Rich Moore and Clark Spencer



Best Production Design

LaLa Land

Producer: David Wasco

Set Decoration: Sandy Reynolds-Wasco



Best Visual Effect

Jungle Book

Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones and Dan Lemmon 



Best Film Editing 

Hacksaw Ridge

John Gilbert 



Best Documentary Short

The White Helmets

 Orlando Von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara



Best Short Film Live Action

Sing

Kristof Deak and Anna Udvardy 



Best Cinematography 

LaLa Land 

Linus Sandgren 



Best Original Score

LaLa Land 

Justin Hurwitz



Best Original Song

LaLa Land “City of Stars”

Music By Justin Hurwitz

Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul



Best Original Screenplay 

Manchester By The Sea

Written by Kenneth Lonergan 



Best Adapted Screenplay 

Moonlight

Screenplay by Barry Jenkins

Story by Tarell Alvin McCraney 



Best Actress In A Leading Role 

LaLa Land 

Emma Stone 



Best Picture

Moonlight 

Adele Romanski, Dede Gardner and Jeremy Kleiner 

(Because I Love You) Chapter 8: Mixed Signals


OMAR

Omar yelled, “Did you hear me the first time?”
I couldn’t speak, looking at the phone then back at Omar. I decided in that moment, to cut the conversation short whispering, “I’ll call you back”. Quickly I hung up the phone, then looked over at Omar. I thought to myself, I can play this in two ways, I can play the victim card or I could play the asshole. I grappled with the decision for a few seconds. I choose the asshole, “don’t look at me like that”, I said dismissing his presents, walking around him to the living room. He turned around and followed me, grabbing my arm to stop me,”So our conversation yesterday meant nothing?”. I pulled my hand out of his grip looking him, “You must’ve lost your goddamn mind, Don’t ever grab me again”, I said perjecting my voice. Omar threw his hands up in the air, then slowly stepped back.


CHRISTINA

I continue to walk to the living room and sat down on the couch. I looked over at Omar, who was still looking at me.

“It’s fine with me, if you don’t want to follow our agreement, I will gladly continue what I’m doing”, Omar said with a smile. He then walks to the back to the bedroom. I could hear moving around from the living room. I didn’t pay him any attention. I remained in the living room, a lot of thoughts roaming through my head. I don’t want to lose Omar, but I don’t know if I’m ready to lose Trey either. Omar made his way back into the kitchen. Grabbing his jacket on the chair, right before he put his hand on the door he looks over at me once more and says, “I’ll let myself out”. At this point my head was down in my hands. As I heard the door open, I popped up and ran to the door; closing it before Omar even fully opened it, “You’re not being fair”, I said as my eyes began to water. 

“What do you mean I’m not being fair? I gave you an option. You told me that you were going to handle it, and you didn’t, so explain to me how I’m not being fair?”, Omar said waiting for me to respond.

“It’s not that easy for me”, I reply looking down feeling ashamed to look him in the eye.

Omar replied sarcastically grabbing the door again to open it, “Well it’s not that easy for me either”.

I push the door close once more then responded, “You’re just saying that because I said it, I’m not saying it’s hard to leave Trey just because but you know damn well that you’re saying that you can’t stop messing with Victoria just to be an asshole. Unlike you I don’t throw my feelings around anywhere”.

Omar getting tired of the back-and-forth and finally said, “Christina what are you saying to me?”

I said with tears running down my face, ” l don’t know, I really just don’t know”.

“Well when you figure it out you let me know, but until then you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see”, Omar grab the door once more and this time he left slammed the door behind him. I said in the same spot by the door for at least five minutes.

I don’t know how I’ve gotten to this place. This place of loneliness. It’s so dark and quiet here. No matter how hard I try to find the light the dark continues to turn the switch.

For a couple of days I stayed in the house in complete silence. I’m sure by now, I have many missed calls but I really had no interest in talking to anyone. I couldn’t even tell my best friend about what I was dealing with, because we are dealing with the same guy. Anyone else I could possibly talk to about it, would tell me what I didn’t need to hear. Laying in my bed I close my eyes and thought to myself, who do you want? Is it Omar or is it Trey? I kept repeating those same lines in my head over and over again, hoping to get the answer that I needed.

As I was in my own thoughts, I heard the doorbell ring. Hoping that the person would go away so I could remained in my bed. Once I realize the person wasn’t going to leave. I got up out of my bed and walk to the door when I looked out of the peep hole, it was Victoria. All I could think to myself was, “this is not the person I want to see you right now”. I actually feel bad for those thoughts in mind but I couldn’t help it. She had gotten tangled up in a love triangle without even asking for it. I open the door and there she was standing there with a bottle of wine in her hand.

“I have been calling and texting you, but you haven’t been answering, thought you might need some of this”, she said as she out of the bottle of wine.

She walked into the apartment and I close the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and put the bottle down on the kitchen counter then looked back at me, that was right behind her.

“So what’s going on and why the hell do you look like this?”‘, she said awaiting my response looking me up and down.

I didn’t say anything I just grabbed the bottle opener out of the first drawer and begin opening the wine bottle.

“Please don’t tell me this is about Trey again?”, she asked still awaiting for me to respond.

I still remain quiet grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet and began pouring the wine. Then simply handed one glass to Victoria and walking into the living room. I sat down on the couch with the wine glass in hand, finally taking a sip. Victoria hurried over to the couch, sitting next to me eager to know what I was going to say next, “So it is about Trey?”, she asked to bring her wine.

“Yeah it’s about him”, I said sipping my wine once more.

“What did he do now?”, she said waiting for me to respond.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t know what he wants. One minute he wants to be in a committed relationship the next minute he wants to be single, I can’t deal with his flip-floppy ways”, I said frustrated taking another sip.

“You have to tell him it’s over, I know it’s going to be hard but its the right thing to do. You can’t keep putting yourself through this. He’s not worth it, no man is worth it”, she informed me.

I loved all the words Victoria’s feeding me, but is better said than done. I really need to look inside myself and be strong.

Victoria turn to look at me and held my hand ,”I do have something to tell you, I don’t think you’re going to be very happy about it”. I see that she was honestly worried about what I would think so I just asked, “what’s wrong?”. She was still silent trying to figure out how to make the words come out. I held her hand, then nodded my head for her to continue to speak. She finally spoke, “Omar asked me to move in with him?”. Was I losing my mind? Did she just say Omar wants her to move in with him? Are you fucking serious right now? Why would he do that? I try my hardest not to let any tears fall from my eyes. I can’t believe him. He’s really trying to hurt me, and he’s doing a damn good job.
To Be Continued…

Women’s March in Washington, DC


The women’s March was held this past Saturday in Washington an in other states and countries. The people that attended this March was determined to make a statement and they did. 

They covered the streets all over D.C. I was excited to actually see the passion all of these individuals had. It was uplifting. I respect and commend all the people that organized it and attended. You did a wonderful thing. 

I was also happy to talk to the wonderful people that were so warm and welcoming. Take a look at the little, that I got to record of the crowd.