I know it’s absolutely ridiculous, that I can even be upset with him. I’m pissed off with the both of them. I don’t have a good reason but I am. Victoria standings in front of me telling me all this and she wants me to be happy. Why exactly would I be happy? Then again she doesn’t even know. I wonder if I should tell her? But if I tell her would she think different of me? She would probably call me a liar and a backstabber. I don’t know if she would ever trust me again.
“Christina are you even listening to me?”, Victoria asks as she snaps her finger in my face. I quickly snap back to the conversation, “My bad I was thinking about something else”. She shook her head and drops herself onto the couch, “Well can you please come back to earth, because I really need your help to make a decision”. This is the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard in my life. She wants me to help her make a decision, on whether she should move in with my man. I have no right to say my man but that’s the way it has always been. “Okay, do you really want to move in with him?”. Victoria is silent for a second before actually responding to me, “I think I do. I don’t know what it is, about him he makes me feel different. I wasn’t looking to feel anything but I do. I don’t want to make a dumb mistake but he’s pulling in every word. I’ve never been so valuable to anyone. Christina you don’t even understand, this shit got me twisted. Embarrassing for me to say out loud”.
She said this shit got her twisted, This shit got me twisted. Victoria is a woman, who doesn’t fall for anyone. Has now fallen in love with Omar. I really wish this is a joke she’s playing.
“Damnit Christina, are you even listening to me? Every time that you’re complaining about Trey, I listen. Even when I think what you’re saying is dumb, I still listen. Now I’m dealing with this shit and you keep tuning out. I find that very disrespectful”, she says that she gets up off the couch and stands directly in front of me.
“I promise you I’m not doing it intentionally, but I have a lot going on right now. I promise I’m listening”, I said trying to convince her continuing, “If you feel like that’s the best decision for you, then follow your heart. Don’t do it with the intention that you’re going to get something out of it. Just be genuine”. My began phone ringing. When I look at the screen, a smile appeared on my face. I quickly pick up the phone and respond with complete excitement, “Hey what’s up?”. The voice on the other end of the phone spoke, “I was just thinking about you and thought I’d call. I miss you already, maybe I overreacted maybe we can figure something out”. I’m listening to him speak smiling inside, then I look over at Victoria and a smile appears on my face, again. I then respond, “Oh really, that sounds great but I can’t talk right now. Victoria is over here giving me the best news”. The voice on the other end of the phone didn’t speak again. There’s silence on the phone for a couple seconds before I respond, “You too bye”. I’m laughing inside because I know what happens next. Omar is going to show up at my house. He’s going to try to convince me that what I have been told is far from the truth. He’s going to beg me to forgive him. I’ve played this game so many times and I’m ready for it this time.
“Who was that?”, Victoria ask as she flips through her phone. I just put my phone down and respond, “ my nosy ass cousin, that girl is so annoying”. Victoria looks up at me, “Your mother’s sisters daughter?”. I just quickly respond, “Yeah that one”.
“Back to what I was saying, should I do it?”, Victoria asks again. I know she only wants to hear one answer so I just tell her what she wants to hear, “Of course you should move in with him”. She jumps up off the couch and hug me ridiculously tight, “I knew you would give me the best advice”, she said as she grabs her things and run out of the front door.
After she leaves, I went in the bathroom to take a long hot shower. As I’m standing underneath the scorching hot water. I begin to think about everything that’s going on. The fog from the hot water fills the entire bathroom. All the pain I’ve been feeling isn’t in my control, but being underneath the hot water is all I can control. I stand there close to what seems like an hour, crying my eyes out. All of this doesn’t seem fair. Im always tried to play my cards right, I always try to be a good person but things, of this nature, always happens to me. After giving myself time from all the crying. I finally shut the water off and step out of the tub. I made my way to my bedroom and underneath my sheets. I toss and turn for an hour to get some sleep but nothing. After getting tired in the same spot I get up and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, hoping that would finally put me to sleep. As I turn on the stove, I heard a knock at the door. My first instinct told me to ignore it. I honestly don’t want to talk to anyone. Before I can continue, I heard rattling at the door. Speeding into the room, I grab the first shirt that I could find.
Before I can walk back into the kitchen Omar stands right in front of me. Him appearing out of nowhere, almost makes me trip over my own foot as I step back. I forgot that Omar knows where I kept my spare key. Whenever he’s in the mood, he uses the key to let himself in and cooks for me. Whenever I have something on my mind, I eat with no guidance and Omar makes the best stress food. He makes his famous barbecue baked ribs, turkey neck collar greens, baked beans and cornbread. I always joke around telling him, he can make the perfect housewife with that kind of cooking. This is the side of Omar that many will never see. Omar and I have gotten into it so many times because of females. I have no right to get upset but I do. I’m so used to it now, that I just get upset for the steamy hot sex that occurs after our arguments. He stands in front of me are waiting for me to speak. I just act like he doesn’t exist and walk around him, to the kitchen, where the hot water is boiling on the stove. I walk over to the stove to turn it off but as I’m about to put my hand on the dial, Omar came from behind me and turns it off before I can. I can feel him breathing on my neck waiting for me utter my first words. He finally says, “Are you hungry?”. I ignore every word that came out of his mouth, reaching up into the cabinet to grab a teabag. He notices that I’m struggling so he grabs a teabag and places it in my cup and then pour the hot water on top of it. He knows how I like my tea. He finishes it up and handed it to me. Still not speaking to him, I grab my tea and took my first sip as I lean on the counter. “Are you going to at least say something?”, he says with frustration. I look at him and finally reply, “What exactly would you like me to say?”. He respond guilty, “ I don’t know, whatever you want to say, just say something”. I feel like I have the right not to speak to him. He’s the one that keeps making irrational decisions and this time its with my friend. Everything in me begin boiling so I just blurt out, “So are you really going to move in with her?”. He looks me directly in my eyes and shakes his head, “If she accepts, I have no choice but to allow her to move in. Besides I haven’t had a woman around the house in a while. I actually miss it”. Before I can even respond to his ignorance my phone rang. Omar looks at me waiting for me to make a move, so remain in the same position. After a few moments, he gets irritated and follows the ringing to finds my phone in the couch. When he picks it up the screen read Trey. I can see the anger in his face. He immediately answered the phone, “I’m gonna say this once, don’t call this number back again”. Before Trey gets a word out, Omar hangs up the phone then glances at me. “What the fuck is your problem”, I say as I rush over to him and grab my phone out of his hand continuing, “You have no fucking right to come in my house, pick up my phone and hang up on someone”. I view the last call and try to call back. As soon as the phone touches my ear he snatches the phone and ends the call. “Get out”, I try to say calmly. “I’m not going nowhere”, he says standing unapologetic in front of me. I want so bad to pick something up and hit him with it but I can’t. I just repeat myself with a more intense tone, “Get Out”. It takes everything out of me to keep my cool with this man. Eventually I’m out raged at the fact that Omar is standing in front of me refusing to leave my apartment. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but the next thing I know I had a knife in his face. As I’m standing here reflecting on the fact that I’m holding a knife in front of his face I gather my thoughts. Before I can actually put my knife down, Omar reaches in the back of his pants and pulling out his gun. Pointing it directly in my face he then says, “Christina put your knife down, this is not what you want to do right now”. The last time Omar and I went toted toe, it didn’t work out well. I’m standing here looking in his eyes. While crying my eyes out, I say once more, “Please get out”.