(Because I Love You) Chapter 8: Mixed Signals


OMAR

Omar yelled, “Did you hear me the first time?”
I couldn’t speak, looking at the phone then back at Omar. I decided in that moment, to cut the conversation short whispering, “I’ll call you back”. Quickly I hung up the phone, then looked over at Omar. I thought to myself, I can play this in two ways, I can play the victim card or I could play the asshole. I grappled with the decision for a few seconds. I choose the asshole, “don’t look at me like that”, I said dismissing his presents, walking around him to the living room. He turned around and followed me, grabbing my arm to stop me,”So our conversation yesterday meant nothing?”. I pulled my hand out of his grip looking him, “You must’ve lost your goddamn mind, Don’t ever grab me again”, I said perjecting my voice. Omar threw his hands up in the air, then slowly stepped back.


CHRISTINA

I continue to walk to the living room and sat down on the couch. I looked over at Omar, who was still looking at me.

“It’s fine with me, if you don’t want to follow our agreement, I will gladly continue what I’m doing”, Omar said with a smile. He then walks to the back to the bedroom. I could hear moving around from the living room. I didn’t pay him any attention. I remained in the living room, a lot of thoughts roaming through my head. I don’t want to lose Omar, but I don’t know if I’m ready to lose Trey either. Omar made his way back into the kitchen. Grabbing his jacket on the chair, right before he put his hand on the door he looks over at me once more and says, “I’ll let myself out”. At this point my head was down in my hands. As I heard the door open, I popped up and ran to the door; closing it before Omar even fully opened it, “You’re not being fair”, I said as my eyes began to water. 

“What do you mean I’m not being fair? I gave you an option. You told me that you were going to handle it, and you didn’t, so explain to me how I’m not being fair?”, Omar said waiting for me to respond.

“It’s not that easy for me”, I reply looking down feeling ashamed to look him in the eye.

Omar replied sarcastically grabbing the door again to open it, “Well it’s not that easy for me either”.

I push the door close once more then responded, “You’re just saying that because I said it, I’m not saying it’s hard to leave Trey just because but you know damn well that you’re saying that you can’t stop messing with Victoria just to be an asshole. Unlike you I don’t throw my feelings around anywhere”.

Omar getting tired of the back-and-forth and finally said, “Christina what are you saying to me?”

I said with tears running down my face, ” l don’t know, I really just don’t know”.

“Well when you figure it out you let me know, but until then you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see”, Omar grab the door once more and this time he left slammed the door behind him. I said in the same spot by the door for at least five minutes.

I don’t know how I’ve gotten to this place. This place of loneliness. It’s so dark and quiet here. No matter how hard I try to find the light the dark continues to turn the switch.

For a couple of days I stayed in the house in complete silence. I’m sure by now, I have many missed calls but I really had no interest in talking to anyone. I couldn’t even tell my best friend about what I was dealing with, because we are dealing with the same guy. Anyone else I could possibly talk to about it, would tell me what I didn’t need to hear. Laying in my bed I close my eyes and thought to myself, who do you want? Is it Omar or is it Trey? I kept repeating those same lines in my head over and over again, hoping to get the answer that I needed.

As I was in my own thoughts, I heard the doorbell ring. Hoping that the person would go away so I could remained in my bed. Once I realize the person wasn’t going to leave. I got up out of my bed and walk to the door when I looked out of the peep hole, it was Victoria. All I could think to myself was, “this is not the person I want to see you right now”. I actually feel bad for those thoughts in mind but I couldn’t help it. She had gotten tangled up in a love triangle without even asking for it. I open the door and there she was standing there with a bottle of wine in her hand.

“I have been calling and texting you, but you haven’t been answering, thought you might need some of this”, she said as she out of the bottle of wine.

She walked into the apartment and I close the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and put the bottle down on the kitchen counter then looked back at me, that was right behind her.

“So what’s going on and why the hell do you look like this?”‘, she said awaiting my response looking me up and down.

I didn’t say anything I just grabbed the bottle opener out of the first drawer and begin opening the wine bottle.

“Please don’t tell me this is about Trey again?”, she asked still awaiting for me to respond.

I still remain quiet grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet and began pouring the wine. Then simply handed one glass to Victoria and walking into the living room. I sat down on the couch with the wine glass in hand, finally taking a sip. Victoria hurried over to the couch, sitting next to me eager to know what I was going to say next, “So it is about Trey?”, she asked to bring her wine.

“Yeah it’s about him”, I said sipping my wine once more.

“What did he do now?”, she said waiting for me to respond.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t know what he wants. One minute he wants to be in a committed relationship the next minute he wants to be single, I can’t deal with his flip-floppy ways”, I said frustrated taking another sip.

“You have to tell him it’s over, I know it’s going to be hard but its the right thing to do. You can’t keep putting yourself through this. He’s not worth it, no man is worth it”, she informed me.

I loved all the words Victoria’s feeding me, but is better said than done. I really need to look inside myself and be strong.

Victoria turn to look at me and held my hand ,”I do have something to tell you, I don’t think you’re going to be very happy about it”. I see that she was honestly worried about what I would think so I just asked, “what’s wrong?”. She was still silent trying to figure out how to make the words come out. I held her hand, then nodded my head for her to continue to speak. She finally spoke, “Omar asked me to move in with him?”. Was I losing my mind? Did she just say Omar wants her to move in with him? Are you fucking serious right now? Why would he do that? I try my hardest not to let any tears fall from my eyes. I can’t believe him. He’s really trying to hurt me, and he’s doing a damn good job.
To Be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 1 : Seeing Trey Hurts

 
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out, especially with all the hype about Trey being in town. I knew inside of me, seeing him would definitely make my day, but I didn’t know if he would feel the same after our last encounter.

Two weeks ago Trey and I attended an event for American Veterans. I had no idea Trey was going to attend this event, when I walked in and heard Trey’s name my heart dropped. I was torn. Considering this had been the first time Trey and I had seen one another since our break up. I didn’t make it my priority to speak with him, but it was hard not to. The government was honoring Trey for his “Your Side of the Bed” music video, which brought awareness to the way military families feel and the sacrifices they have to make. I was so proud of him because I knew how hard he worked to be where he is. The thing that hurt was the fact that I couldn’t tell him how I really felt.

At one point I was walking and Diana stopped me and said, “love your outfit”, and of course Trey was standing next to her staring while sipping on his wine. I assumed he was waiting for me to acknowledge his presence. I was surprised that Diana had spoken to me since we haven’t seen each other in over a year. I was wearing a long red dress that fit tight and fell a little pass my knee and long in the back. The straps wrapped around my neck with a plunging cut in both the front and back.

“Thank you”, I said

“Is it Alexander McQueen? Seen something like that not too long ago” She said sarcastically.

“Really?” I smiled as I continued to speak, “No, babe it’s a Christina Renee original”, making a three sixty in order for her to see the full dress.

“Nice”

The compliments I got were the highlight of my night but it was weird that Trey appears everywhere I was standing. At the time I didn’t know if it was intentional or just me but I thought his efforts to get my attention were cute. Briana and I decided to get another drink from the bar. We work together but were also friends.

Briana had long red hair with a body to die for. She was wearing a short halter top tight fitted black dress. Briana is definitely more outspoken than I am. When I noticed that Trey was making his way towards the bar I quickly nudged Briana. Trey stood right next to me. I could feel his eyes piercing against my skin. I turned to the bar with hopes that he would walk away. Briana then shoved me out the way holding her hand out to shake Trey’s and said, “Hi I’m Briana”. Trey held his hand out to meet hers.

“Nice to meet you”, Trey Replied then looking at me, “And you are?”

Trey held out his hand for me to shake it. I held my hand out to meet his and replied, “Christina Renee”.

“Nice to meet you Christina Renee”, Trey said with a sarcastic smile. The few seconds we made eye contact went from innocent to sexual. I had to immediately break contact. It seemed as if we were talking to one another for the first time again. I would have said something back but because Briana had no knowledge of our past I decided to play along.

Briana interjected, “So I see you’re the man of the hour, Congratulations”

Trey replied, “Thank you, but I’m just glad I could be the one to bring awareness to the situation”.

“I understand, we both are daughters of military men so we know what it’s like”

I tried to keep myself out of the conversation as much as possible. So I would just nod my head and agree with everything that was being said. I was at this prestigious event I was originally not supposed to be at but was invited at the last minute because of my relationship with the sponsors. Then to find out that my ex is the one being honored at this event. It was a lot to take in at once.

When the night was over Briana and I said good night to one another and went our separate ways. As I was waiting for my car Trey and his assistant stood next to me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” said Trey’s assistant sarcastically.

“Yes, it was amazing”, I said with a smile

I wasn’t sure if Diana didn’t like me because of what happened but I did not appreciate the sarcasm she kept giving me. She was acting as if he was her man and not her boss.

“That’s great”, as her car pulled up she said, “Have a good night”, jumped into the car and drove off.

After she left, Trey stood still next to me waiting for his car. I was a little uncomfortable and confused. I looked in the opposite direction to make the situation less awkward.

“Is that your way of ignoring me”, Trey said smiling.

I turned to him confused, “How can I ignore someone who isn’t talking to me?” I replied.

Both of our cars pulled up at the same time. I was freaked out how things were working out. It all seemed planned in some strange way.

“Were you working tonight?”

“Excuse me, is that really the first thing you can say to me?”

I began walking to my car when Trey grabbed my hand, “Is this how you want to end the night?”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said with an attitude.

“Many”

“Well keep them for a female who wants to hear it, and we both know that’s many”, I tugged my hand from his grip, got into my car, and drove off. I didn’t intend to be so mean, it just came out. It upset me that he would ask me about work knowing our situation. Sometimes living this type of life can really affect your personal life. Ever since that night I have been getting calls and emails from Trey but I haven’t answered.

TO BE CONTINUED…

P.S All Stories are Fictional!