(Because I Love You) Chapter 8: Mixed Signals


OMAR

Omar yelled, “Did you hear me the first time?”
I couldn’t speak, looking at the phone then back at Omar. I decided in that moment, to cut the conversation short whispering, “I’ll call you back”. Quickly I hung up the phone, then looked over at Omar. I thought to myself, I can play this in two ways, I can play the victim card or I could play the asshole. I grappled with the decision for a few seconds. I choose the asshole, “don’t look at me like that”, I said dismissing his presents, walking around him to the living room. He turned around and followed me, grabbing my arm to stop me,”So our conversation yesterday meant nothing?”. I pulled my hand out of his grip looking him, “You must’ve lost your goddamn mind, Don’t ever grab me again”, I said perjecting my voice. Omar threw his hands up in the air, then slowly stepped back.


CHRISTINA

I continue to walk to the living room and sat down on the couch. I looked over at Omar, who was still looking at me.

“It’s fine with me, if you don’t want to follow our agreement, I will gladly continue what I’m doing”, Omar said with a smile. He then walks to the back to the bedroom. I could hear moving around from the living room. I didn’t pay him any attention. I remained in the living room, a lot of thoughts roaming through my head. I don’t want to lose Omar, but I don’t know if I’m ready to lose Trey either. Omar made his way back into the kitchen. Grabbing his jacket on the chair, right before he put his hand on the door he looks over at me once more and says, “I’ll let myself out”. At this point my head was down in my hands. As I heard the door open, I popped up and ran to the door; closing it before Omar even fully opened it, “You’re not being fair”, I said as my eyes began to water. 

“What do you mean I’m not being fair? I gave you an option. You told me that you were going to handle it, and you didn’t, so explain to me how I’m not being fair?”, Omar said waiting for me to respond.

“It’s not that easy for me”, I reply looking down feeling ashamed to look him in the eye.

Omar replied sarcastically grabbing the door again to open it, “Well it’s not that easy for me either”.

I push the door close once more then responded, “You’re just saying that because I said it, I’m not saying it’s hard to leave Trey just because but you know damn well that you’re saying that you can’t stop messing with Victoria just to be an asshole. Unlike you I don’t throw my feelings around anywhere”.

Omar getting tired of the back-and-forth and finally said, “Christina what are you saying to me?”

I said with tears running down my face, ” l don’t know, I really just don’t know”.

“Well when you figure it out you let me know, but until then you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see”, Omar grab the door once more and this time he left slammed the door behind him. I said in the same spot by the door for at least five minutes.

I don’t know how I’ve gotten to this place. This place of loneliness. It’s so dark and quiet here. No matter how hard I try to find the light the dark continues to turn the switch.

For a couple of days I stayed in the house in complete silence. I’m sure by now, I have many missed calls but I really had no interest in talking to anyone. I couldn’t even tell my best friend about what I was dealing with, because we are dealing with the same guy. Anyone else I could possibly talk to about it, would tell me what I didn’t need to hear. Laying in my bed I close my eyes and thought to myself, who do you want? Is it Omar or is it Trey? I kept repeating those same lines in my head over and over again, hoping to get the answer that I needed.

As I was in my own thoughts, I heard the doorbell ring. Hoping that the person would go away so I could remained in my bed. Once I realize the person wasn’t going to leave. I got up out of my bed and walk to the door when I looked out of the peep hole, it was Victoria. All I could think to myself was, “this is not the person I want to see you right now”. I actually feel bad for those thoughts in mind but I couldn’t help it. She had gotten tangled up in a love triangle without even asking for it. I open the door and there she was standing there with a bottle of wine in her hand.

“I have been calling and texting you, but you haven’t been answering, thought you might need some of this”, she said as she out of the bottle of wine.

She walked into the apartment and I close the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and put the bottle down on the kitchen counter then looked back at me, that was right behind her.

“So what’s going on and why the hell do you look like this?”‘, she said awaiting my response looking me up and down.

I didn’t say anything I just grabbed the bottle opener out of the first drawer and begin opening the wine bottle.

“Please don’t tell me this is about Trey again?”, she asked still awaiting for me to respond.

I still remain quiet grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet and began pouring the wine. Then simply handed one glass to Victoria and walking into the living room. I sat down on the couch with the wine glass in hand, finally taking a sip. Victoria hurried over to the couch, sitting next to me eager to know what I was going to say next, “So it is about Trey?”, she asked to bring her wine.

“Yeah it’s about him”, I said sipping my wine once more.

“What did he do now?”, she said waiting for me to respond.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t know what he wants. One minute he wants to be in a committed relationship the next minute he wants to be single, I can’t deal with his flip-floppy ways”, I said frustrated taking another sip.

“You have to tell him it’s over, I know it’s going to be hard but its the right thing to do. You can’t keep putting yourself through this. He’s not worth it, no man is worth it”, she informed me.

I loved all the words Victoria’s feeding me, but is better said than done. I really need to look inside myself and be strong.

Victoria turn to look at me and held my hand ,”I do have something to tell you, I don’t think you’re going to be very happy about it”. I see that she was honestly worried about what I would think so I just asked, “what’s wrong?”. She was still silent trying to figure out how to make the words come out. I held her hand, then nodded my head for her to continue to speak. She finally spoke, “Omar asked me to move in with him?”. Was I losing my mind? Did she just say Omar wants her to move in with him? Are you fucking serious right now? Why would he do that? I try my hardest not to let any tears fall from my eyes. I can’t believe him. He’s really trying to hurt me, and he’s doing a damn good job.
To Be Continued…

(It’s Because I Love You) Chapter 7: He Gets To Me

christine

Christina

It’s the man I have been thinking about uncontrollably. I open the door to see Omar slowly lift his head up. I want to tell them to leave, but I urge the feeling of his touch. He looks at me with guilt, because he knew what I was going to do next, and holds out a bouquet of flowers. He got me, he knows it’s my favorite, Lilies, there’s something about the color and smile that always brings a smile to my face. In that moment I knew I would become a victim of his smooth smile, soft touch, and athletic body, but I still try to play it cool.

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Omar “Big O”

“What are you doing here?”, I ask standing firmly at the doorway.
“Your not gonna let me in?”, He replies with his bright smile.
“Why should I?” I ask awaiting a legitimate response.
“We talked about meeting up tonight, I have flowers and you don’t want them to get all dried up. Do you?”, He says smiling.
I don’t respond, I just look him directly in his eyes.
“I don’t have time for this”, he shoves his way into the house. He then looks back at me, “Close the door”.
I turn around and look at him with the door still open waiting for him to leave. He puts the flowers down on the table then walks over to me and slowly close the door.
He then says, “Are you happy now?”
“No I wanted you to leave” I reply with an attitude.
Omar got in front of me and gently touched my face, moving in to kiss me.
“So you thought you were gonna come over here, bring flowers and everything was gonna be okay?”
Omar replies, “No, I thought you were gonna give me a hard time, like you’re doing right now”.
Omar has always had his way of getting what he wanted. I think that’s what I like most about him. People never want to disappoint him. What he fails to realize is that I’m not those people. He has gotten so use to women doing what he wants, that he tries that shit with me.
“You’ve crossed boundaries that can be considered unforgivable”, I announce looking Omar in the eyes.
“Well do you not forgive me?”, he ask awaiting for response.
“I don’t know yet”
“How do you not know?” Omar ask confused. Omar knew that I was clearly hurt by his relations with Victoria. I want to say something but it wouldn’t have come out as polite as I would want it to.
“Maybe I could give you a better answer if you stop fucking my friend”, I say with my hands crossed.
“I already told you, I will if you don’t see your ex anymore”
“What the fuck, that’s not even fair, so your going to keep fucking my friend because I won’t do what you want”
“You can’t make demands if your not gonna follow through with any of mine”
“Well then I’ll stop fucking my ex if you promise to break it off with her”
“Alright you got it, I won’t see her anymore”
“You promise?”, I ask with a smile.
“you got my word”, he says as he gently touching my face.
“well I like the sound of that”, I said as I kiss him.

I don’t know what it is but there is something comforting about Omar’s lips. Every time we lock lips, I seem to imagine all the things that I can’t have with him. He began to tear my clothes off piece by piece. He grabbed my hair forcing my head back, as he begin licking my neck, while his other hand slowly moved down my stomach to between my thighs. I bite my bottom lip as I tried to gain control of the situation but as usual I fell deep into his seduction. He spun me back around, grabbing me tight and look me in the eyes and said, “We have agreement?”
“Not exactly”, I respond with no hesitation.
“Oh really?”, Omar asked.
I nodded confirming his disbelief.
“Maybe i can change that”, he said as he lifts me up slowly kissing all over my body, while carrying me to the room. I couldn’t fighting anymore, I just let it happen.
The next morning I woke up with Omar’s broad shoulders right around me. I still can’t explain why he has such a hold on me. I think it’s because of the way he treated me when I had nobody. He gave me a chance, by giving me a job when I needed it the most.
Some would say my job is unorthodox, but I see it as a way to survive. There’s nothing about my job that forces me to do anything, I feel uncomfortable with. But I will say, my job is a little risky for some individuals.
Before Omar I’d been in multiple relationships, but Omar was the first person to make me feel like a woman. All my other relationships seem to be fun, as if we were in a relationship because we could. With Omar I feel like I didn’t have a choice. Like no matter how much I wanted to run away my heart wouldn’t allow me to.
I turned over to look at my cell phone, and on the screen I saw 10 missed calls. Immediately I knew who it was. As I open my phone, I slowly rose up from Omar’s grip, to sit up on the bed. Then I saw that I also had a voicemail. I put the phone to my ear, and begin playing the voicemail.
“I want to hear your voice, call me when you have the time”, Trey said with such conviction. I replayed the message one more time just to hear his voice. I then looked over to the bedroom where Omar was sleeping, then back to my phone and smile. Although I wanted to be with Omar. I also feel a strong love for Trey. Usually I never have to choose one over the other, but now they’re both here at the same time fighting for the same position in my life. I got up and went into the other room to call Trey back. As a phone rang my heart began to beat fast because I didn’t know what to say to him. Trey answers the phone with the raspy voice he had in the morning, the same voice I love to here next to me in the morning.
“Hello”, Trey replies.
“good morning”, I say with a sense nervousness
“Good morning”, he says with a bit of excitement
“I just got your message, I thought it’d be polite, that I called you back”
“I don’t want to be polite, I want you to call me back because it’s something you truly want. Not because you feel it’s right”, he replies frustrated.
I’m beginning to think that Trey’s “good morning” wasn’t as pleasant as I thought it was.
“maybe I shouldn’t of called you sorry”, I prepare myself to hang up.
“Babe wait”, he interjects “I understand, I’m just a little upset”
“I know and I understand why, I’m a little confused right now and I don’t know what to do”
Seconds later Omar silently my walks into the room.
“I just need you to give me some time to figure out what I want”, I says emotionally connected.
“Who you talking to?”, Forcefully ask.
I couldn’t respond, I was completely dumbfounded.

To Be Continued…

Is It More Than What It Seems? (Part 2)

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Wale as Mike 

I’m lying in bed with this woman in my arms. All I can think about is Meagan…

I haven’t really talked to her since her date with that guy she went out with a week ago. I’m guessing it went well because she has not called me.

The doorbell rings. I immediately I look over at the time… It’s 9:01 AM. Who the hell is at my door this early in the morning? I slowly slid my arm from under her head and got up.

I put my shorts on and headed to the door. I looked out the peep hole to see Meagan. What is she doing here so early? “Fuck,” I said to myself as I opened the door.

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Dessi as Meagan

Meagan pushed her way into the house, “Why the hell did it take you so long to answer the door?” she said with an attitude.

I closed the door behind her and followed her into the kitchen, “I was sleeping”

Meagan replied with a sense of guilt, “Oh sorry, I thought maybe you were in here with a woman. I was trying to be noisy”.

Laughing, “Noisy for what?”

“You know how you are”, she said looking at with a cute smile.

“Why are you even up this early?” I said trying to get myself to fully wake up.

Meagan said with a big smile, “I really want to come over here and talk to you about this guy. I know it’s early but I had to talk to someone”

Sitting down I said looking at her, “what about this guy?”

She sat down in the chair beside me excited, “Okay so do you remember the date I went on last week?”

I said with a straight face, “uhhh yeah what about it?”

“Well the guy is a sweetheart and we literally have been spending crazy time together”

“That’s why I haven’t gotten any calls from you?” I said in my feelings about the situation.

“Sorry I just been preoccupied”, She said with a sweet grin.

“You didn’t fuck this guy, did you?” I asked with suspicion.

“What? Hell no! You know me better than that” she said a little confused.

Hearing those words, made me feel much better about the situation. The truth is if she said the opposite I couldn’t do anything about it. It’s the fact that I know she hasn’t gotten into anything serious with this guy. The question that keeps repeating in my head is; if she knew how I felt would she give me a chance? And I keep repeating the same answer. I know her response would be “NO!” because she knows about all my previous relationships that ended in destruction in full detail.

Meagan continued, “I don’t care how much I like him. I don’t give it up that easy”

“I know, I need to find me a girl like you”

She shook her head in disagreement, “You don’t want someone like me. You couldn’t handle the pressure to be in that type of relationship”

“I can handle that kind of relationship” I said in an aggressive tone.

“This coming from the man that can’t live without sex for more than two weeks, Mike I know you like the back of my hand. You like the thought of a woman like me but you could never deal with that type of woman on a serious level.”

Does she really think I can’t commit myself to one woman? This isn’t true, I can, I just haven’t found the right person that has made me feel the kind of love I want.

Meagan has always been the person I turn to for support and I now realize that she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. How do I tell her that?

“I haven’t been in a relationship where I felt the need to wait. The relationships I have been in, in the past, were developed because of sex and some may have grown further but never serious. I just don’t believe in putting in time with someone that I don’t feel a certain love for. I’ll keep you around if you’re good at what you do but you aren’t going to be my wife.”

“Your wife?  You think about marriage when your dating?” laughing a bit confused.

“Yeah, when I think of getting serious with a woman, she must be someone I feel I can potentially marry”

Laughing, “You’re joking right?”

Mike has a straight face wonder what Meagan found so funny.

Meagan continued, “Oh, you’re serious. I would never expect you to say something like that”

“Yeah I realize that now” I replied pissed about where the conversation was heading.

There was an awkward silence for a second as Meagan scrolled through her phone then looked up and said, “Okay, I’m going to go now. I’ll talk to you later”. Meagan got up and walked out of the front door. I wasn’t happy with the way Meagan and I ended our conversation together. I feel as though she has a negative image of the person I am, but who can really blame her. I got up and locked the door behind her just then Kelly came walking out of the room in my tee shirt.

Pretty+Black+woman+with+beautiful+eyes+lays+on+the+grass
Kelly

“Who was that?” Kelly asked pointing to the door in suspicion.

“It was a friend” I said walking away from the door.

Kelly repeated my words in suspicion, “A friend”

I nodded my head “Yes”.

Kelly replied, “If it was a friend why didn’t you introduce us?”

“You were sleeping babe; I didn’t want to walk you up”

“So was this friend a male or female?” looking Mike directly in the eye with her hands folded.

“What?”

“You heard what I said” She replied waiting for his response

“Why does it matter?” I said walking to the bedroom

She followed me into the room pissed, “Because if it was just a friend you would have let me see them. Yes or no?”

“I told you I didn’t want to wake you up”

“Bullshit, you’re a fucking liar. Why do you always do this shit?” She said with her eyes tearing up.

“What did I do now?” I said shaking my head in irritation

“You tell me about how much you care and love me, then you do disrespectful shit like this. If you don’t want me just let me know and I’ll leave you alone” she said as the tearing rolled down her face.

“If I didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be here right now” I gently pulled her close and wiped her eyes, “I love you and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you”.

Why the hell did I just lie to her again? I won’t lie I do care about Kelly but I’m just not in love with her. I hate to say it but she’s just my distraction. I just can’t stand to see her in front of me crying knowing I’m the one causing it. I rather just tell her what she wants to hear to ease the situation.

“Are you sure?” she said sniffling and wiping her eyes again.

“Yes, I love you”, I said I kissed her on the lips.

This brought a smile to her face but hurt me deep inside. Kelly gets what she wants but when will I ever get what I want?

 To Be Continued…

Is It More Than What It Seems? (Part 1)

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Wale as Mike

I watched her as she is on the couch sleep with her long black hair laid across my legs. She is a beautiful woman that I have the pleasure to spend endless time with. She could have been anywhere, but she’s here with me. Every time I look at her, she makes me want to be a better man not because I want her but I know her heart is genuine. Everything she says and does make me think about everything I have done.

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Desi Renae as Meagan

Meagan opens her eyes and turns her head to look at Mike who quickly looks at the TV as if he wasn’t watching her, “How long was I asleep?”.

“About two hours”, Mike replied.

Embarrassed she said, “Why didn’t you wake me up?” sitting up on the couch.

“I didn’t want to bother you”.

Meagan began looking around, “Where is my phone?”.

“It was about to die so I put it on the charger in the room and it rang a few times too”

“Shit”, she got up and ran to the room.

After retrieving her phone she walked back into the living room scowling down her call list then called someone. She put the phone to her ears sitting on the arm of the couch. The phone rang four times before a male voice answered, “Hello”

“Hey, I just saw you call. I’m at a friend’s house and loss track of time. Do you still want to go?”

“Yeah meet me at 9”, the voice on the other end replied.

She replied with a big smile, “Okay see you soon”

“Alright Bye”

Meagan started putting on her shoes and grabs her purse. Mike asked Meagan interested, “Who are you going to meet?”

“This guy I met a few weeks ago ”

“Where did you meet him?”, he said waiting for a reply

“Why does it matter?”, she said in a skeptical tone.

“You do know some guy have expectations on the first date?

“Who said this is the first date?” she said looking up at him smiling.

Mike nodded his head. He then grabs a pen and paper handing it to Meagan, “What’s this guy’s information?”

“Mike get a life”, Meagan said rolling her eyes.

“I’m serious. I would prefer the full name and cell phone number”

“I’m also serious, get al life”, she said grabbing the pen and paper placing it on the table.

They both walk to the front door silently. Mike holds the door open as Meagan walked out. Before she left she turned and looked at Mike.

Mike says, “Be careful, I don’t trust these guys”

“Because you know what you do?” Meagan said smiling.

“We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you be safe”

Why am I talking like this? I’m never the one to ask anyone about their personal life.

Meagan paused and smiled, “Its cute when you show so much concern for me” She stands on her tippy toes and kisses him on the cheek and whispers, “I will be fine”.

Meagan walks off and Mike closes the door but stands in the same spot thinking.

Meagan and I have been friends for years but just recently these uncontrollable feelings have been taking over. I want to tell her but I don’t want our relationship to change. I respect and love her; the last thing I want is to push her away. The more time I spend with her the stronger my feels get. I can’t tell anyone about this because this is just not who I am. I don’t fall in love. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m in love with Meagan.

To Be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 6: You Don’t Understand

Christina

“I have to think about it”, I said uneasy.

“What is there to think about?” Trey said irritated.

“You don’t understand”, I said trying to end the conversation.

“I can’t understand something you’re not telling me”

“It’s too much to explain”, I replied hoping Trey would get the point.

“Christina I love you and I need you to open up to me”.

I can’t believe he has the nerve to say I won’t open up when he’s the one who broke my heart.

“Like I did before and you up and left?”

“I was scared because I didn’t understand but now I’m okay with it”, Trey said sounding a little uneasy.

Pissed off I replied, “You’re okay with it? Trey I don’t care if you’re okay with it. I need you to feel secure. I need you to trust that I won’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m trying but you already know shit happens”, he said trying to convince me.

“No, I don’t know that shit happens because I can control myself. I never put myself in a situation I can’t get out of, but I’m pretty sure you’ve had multiple shit happen moments.”

“I didn’t call you so we can point fingers at each other. I just want us back”

“That won’t happen overnight”, I have to make Trey know that my feelings aren’t to be toyed with again.

“I’m willing to start over if that means we’ll end up where we were”

His words sound sincere but what can I really believe.  The words “Yes I would love to start over”, wants to come out but I have to hold it back. I need to know that Trey is as serious about us as I am, before putting myself in one hundred percent.

“Meet me at my place tonight”, I said emotionless.

“I’ll be there sometime in the AM”

“I don’t care, you just need to get here”

“Don’t worry, I love you”

“See you soon”

I hung up the phone and held it to my chest for a few moments before putting it down. I just couldn’t say I loved him back because I didn’t know, if his love was genuine.

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Victoria

I could feel Victoria staring at me waiting to put her two cents in, “Why do you keep treating him like that?”

I immediately looked at her annoyed, “How the hell am I treating him?”

“You’re just being unnecessary”

“I’m being unnecessary? V you should understand how I feel about what Trey did to me. Do I need to bring up his name?”

Upset Victoria replied, “Don’t even go there”

“I won’t but don’t act like you never felt how I feel”

“That’s exactly why I’m telling you not to treat Trey like that. He’s going to get tired of the bullshit and move on without you, even if he’s still in love. That’s what I did, with you know who, and I regret it still to this day.”

Victoria was one of those females who seem to have it all together on the outside but she was completely broken inside. She recently got dumped by her ex Elmont after she kept playing the blame game. Elmont cheated on her a few times. After feeling bad about his secret he sat Victoria down to explain the other women, and she went berserk. He was doing everything possible to gain her trust back but she continuously put him through hell with no sign of their relationship building. So he got tired of her bullshit and told her he loved her but he couldn’t do it anymore. Of course she was upset because she was still crazy in love with him. Also he had the nerve to break up with her after he was the wrong one. Victoria was and still is an emotional wreak for the break up. Ever since, she has taken it upon herself to make sure all of her friend’s relationships run smoothly. I appreciate it but I want her to work on herself.

“I understand”, was my response. There was nothing much I could say because she was ultimately right.

Omar (Big O)

Victoria’s phone began to ring. She looked at it for a few moments before picking it up, “Hello”, she said with a smile. She held the phone to her ear enjoying every word the person on the other end spoke. She looked at me then walked into the other room to continue her conversation.

Just then a text came to my phone. When I picked it up to read it read “BO”. Just the man I wanted to talk to at a time like this. The text read, “I was thinking about you so thought I would shoot you a text. Wassup?” Yes, he’s thinking about me. I shouldn’t care but I kind of miss him. I texted back, “Aww how sweet. I’m at my friend’s house. Imu ;-)”

As I awaited his next text my face began to light up. Why? I have no idea. He then texted, “I need to see you”. I texted back, “You already know it’s about timing.” Then he said, “Tonight?” Before I could reply Victoria walked back into the room saying, “Yeah, of course see you later”, before hanging up the phone.

Being noisy I asked, “Who was that?”

“Just some guy”, she said brushing me off.

“I think it’s more than some guy”, I said trying to get some information out of her.

“Girl, you already know it’s not a big deal. He serves his purpose which is something I need in my life right about now”, she said with no feeling.

I can tell she wanted more than just a guy for the moment. I just don’t know how to stop her from being afraid of her feelings.

I should be the last person telling someone not to be afraid of their feelings. I just hate to see her like this, probably the same way she hates to see me worrying about Trey. Relationships can be extremely complicated sometimes. You get stuck and don’t know where to turn next. It really takes time for you to turn in the right direction.

Concerned I asked, “Where did you meet this guy?”

She looked afraid to answer, “I don’t remember”.

“Oh really”, I said with a look of disbelief.

“What? I don’t remember”, She said

“I just hope you’re not messing around with work”

She replied, “Are you judging?”

“So it is work? Spill”, I said waiting for her to speak.

“We met a while ago”.

“I don’t care clients are off limits”

“He’s not a client”, she whispered under her breath.

“What?”

“It’s not a client”, she repeated under her breath.

“Why don’t you speak a little louder”, I said annoyed.

“It’s not a damn client”, she said loud and with anger.

I asked confused, “If it’s not a client then”, I stopped and thought about it before I continue, “No not George?”

“Eww girl no”, Victoria said with disgust.

“Then who the hell are you talking about? The only other person is, but you don’t know him”

Victoria stared into space with no response. Her reaction said it all, “It’s Omar, but when did you meet him?”

She still wasn’t talking.

“Victoria seriously is it Omar?”

She said hesitating, “you can’t say anything”.

“You’re fucking Big O?”

“Don’t make it at big deal”

“It’s a big deal because he says he never fucks around with his girls.”

Confused she replied, “I thought you all we really close?”

I can’t believe this fucker. He has the nerve to tell Victoria about me. Why would he do some shit like that? I don’t know if I should be more upset than hurt, but right now I’m feeling hurt more than anything.

“He told you that?” I said confused.

“It doesn’t matter”, Victoria said trying to end the conversation.

“If you get Big O’s attention that’s a huge deal, now speak”

Victoria spoke with a smile, “I was at the office because George and I had to speak about some important information I found out. So while I was there George’s assistant came barging in and you know how George gets when people interrupt his meetings. So he was about to fuss at her before she said, “Big O is on his way upstairs”. George of course was excited but I was a little confused to why they were so happy to see their boss.”

“I know why”, I said with a straight face.

“I mean at the time I didn’t but now I do”

“I can’t believe…”

“Do you want to hear the rest of the story or do you want to keep talking? Cause I will let you”

“Sorry, keep talking”, I said holding back the real words that should have came out.

“Anyway when Omar came in”

“Wow, you even call him Omar”

Victoria looked at me with a blank stare then continued, “So when Big O came in George dapped him up. And the assistant was so thirsty it was disgusting. I just sat there waiting for them to finish their greetings so George and I could finish our conversation. Of course you know I was annoyed and I think Omar could tell so he introduced himself, “Wassup I’m Omar but everyone calls me Big O”.

“I know”, I said carelessly.

“And you are?” Omar said with a smile.

“Victoria”

“The Victoria”

“I don’t usually put “The” before my name”

“Well the way George talks about you, you should”, he said with a smile.

“I’ll think about it”, Victoria replied brushing him off.

Omar looked me directly in the eye and said, “George I can see why you like her so much.”

Victoria continues to say, “The eye contact we made put me in a trance for a couple second but I quickly got myself together. Honestly I don’t know what was said after that all I knew is I wanted Omar badly.”

I can’t believe Omar he knows that Victoria and I are extremely close and he pulls some shit like this.

I interrupted, “Every girl wants to fuck him”

“Excluding you?” she said laughing.

“That was way before I began working for him. Did he tell you that?”

“You already know your secret is safe with me”, she said zipping her mouth.

“You better watch out for him because his ass is sneaky”

“Girl you already know how I handle men like him”

“Okay, just be careful”

I don’t think I have room to be upset, I am still in love with my ex. Just to know he would even go that far pisses me off. When I got home I made a phone call that was well needed.

Omar answered the phone, “Hey beautiful so are we on for tonight?”

“O do you have something to tell me”

“No, do you want me to tell you something?” He replied confused.

“Why are you fucking Victoria?”

“Why are you fucking your ex?”

I can’t believe this dude went there with me. His nonchalant attitude pissed me off.

“What?”

“You heard me?” he said calmly.

“O that’s my friend”

“I didn’t know that until after”

“Yes, you did because I’ve told you about her many times”

“Well I like her”, he said carelessly.

I replied, “Stop fucking her”.

“Stop fucking your ex”, he responded.

I had nothing to say. I can’t just break it off with Trey for a man who is even more confused than Trey.

“I thought so, and Victoria is really nice.”

“Well you know what have fun and don’t ever call me again”, I explained before slamming the phone down.

I laid on my couch thinking about Omar which was weird because I wanted Trey more than I wanted Omar. As I began to fall asleep my doorbell rang. I attempted to ignore it but the person kept knocking. I got up to open the door. When I looked through the peep hole a smile appeared on my face.

 To be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 5: No Where To Turn

“Shit”, I said jumping off the bed, picking my clothes up off the chair and headed straight for the door. Trey stood in front of the door blocking it.

Trey said trying to stop me, “Why are you leaving?”

Trying to shove him out the way I said, “Trey move!”

“Where are you going?”

Finally, I got Trey out of my way; I put my cloths down attempting to put one piece on at a time, but before I could get anything on, Trey came behind me and grabbed the clothing I had in my hand and threw them on the floor. When I tried to turn around, he wrapped his hands around my waist, planting kisses from my left shoulder to the right side of my neck. For a moment I awaited his next move. Getting impatient I turned around making full eye contact with Trey. As are eyes met our lips met seconds later. I fell in love all over again. I stepped back uncertain whether I should continue. As I stepped back he stepped forward backing me against the wall. With nowhere to run Trey kissed me gently pressed against my body. I wanted to pull away, but the warmth from his body drew me in. He picked me up carried me over to the bed, laid me down as he made his way downtown. I have been craving this moment. He always does everything right. He knows exactly what to do to drive me crazy. Trey is definitely the best lover I have ever had.

“What do you want from me”, I said Moaning

He Whispers looking in my eyes, “I Love You”

“Why do you like hurting me?”

I got really emotional throughout our entire time of making love. I couldn’t believe I was so emotional. After a while Trey stopped answering my emotional driven questions. He just gave me what he knew I wanted. I began crying for more begging him to go deeper. I wanted so bad to free my mind and enjoy every bit of this moment but, in the back of my mind I was still hurt, I needed answers. Trey went on his knees grabbing me and slowly entered. I wrapped my legs around his waist closing my eyes bending my head back and moaning. I made eye contact with Trey once more with tears rolling down my face. I kissed Trey then felt a shocking palm run through my body. We stared at one another satisfied.

The next morning I found myself to be satisfied and relaxed, to be sleeping next to the man I was afraid to love. I lied their watching him sleep. He was perfection, maybe it’s just me but he looks like an angel when he sleeps. I honestly couldn’t believe I was doing this again. Instead of trying to get over him, I was falling deeper. I had to get out of that hotel room before he woke up and we both exchanged words that we wouldn’t be able to take back. I wanted to kiss him badly, but I had to restrain. I quietly got out of the bed tip toeing, picking up my cloths and putting them on. I then made a quick exit. I leaned back on the door crying. I got myself together wiped my eyes and left the hotel.

The next thing I knew, I was knocking on Victoria’s door like a lost puppy. I needed to talk to someone immediately I was dying inside.

“Who is it?” a voice asked behind the door.

“Christina”, I replied

Victoria opened the door with a big smile. When she saw the sadness in my face her mood changed.

“Are you okay?” she asked; pulling me inside the house, closing the door behind me.

I nodded my head “no” without a reply.

“What happened? Is it work? Cause you already know…”

“No, it has nothing to do with that”

“Oh Okay…Then what is it?”

“It’s Trey”

“What about Trey?” Victoria said with attitude.

“Yesterday he called in the office asking for me personally under another name”

“Awww Really?” laughing then continued, “What’s wrong with that?”

“Wait let me finish. He then asked for me to meet him at a hotel. You know how I feel about the whole hotel thing, but I just said whatever because I wanted to get Trey off my mind. So when I got to the hotel he told me to come into the bedroom and get comfortable. At that moment; I was going to leave, but I didn’t because I wanted to forget Trey. So I went into the room and took off my cloths and everything.”

Victoria asked, “Wait, this is before you knew it was Trey?”

“Yes”

“Freak” Victoria laughed.

I Laughed, “Let me continue, I posed on the bed waiting for him, to get out of the bathroom. When he stepped out I almost died. I was so embarrassed, I jumped off the bed grabbed my cloths and tried to leave but he jumped in front of the door. We argued for a few seconds then the rest is history”

“Really?” Victoria’s facial expression changed, “Wait I’m not surprised, both of you are still in love with each other”.

“I woke up this morning and just wanted to stay in his arms”

“Why did you leave?”

“I can’t be with him, he doesn’t accept my career and he doesn’t trust me”

“You could work toward fixing that part of your relationship or change your job instead of running away”.

My phone then began to ring. The screen read My Baby. I showed the phone to Victoria and she said, “Talk to him” There was a silence in the room as the phone rang again, “Answer it”.

I picked up the phone, “Hello”

“I wake up and you’re gone. Wassup with that?”

“I needed air”

“Christina what’s the problem?”

“There is no problem”

“Well, I’m leaving town in two days and I want to see you again before I leave”

Why is it that this man has to always make it hard for me to say no to him? I don’t want him to leave. I just want to be with him.

To Be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 4: The Anonymous Request

Trey gave me a sexy grin as he walked closer to me and gently kissed me. Moments after I pushed Trey away from me, “You need to leave”, I said with guilt.

Trey replied a little confused and pissed, “What?”

“You need to go”

“I thought you said you wanted to talk”

“I can’t do this, you have to go”

Yes, I know this sounds stupid for me to tell him come and see me, then blow him off when he gets here. No one understands, I want more than anything for Trey and I to be back where we began but it’s not that simple for me. He completely tore my heart to pieces and didn’t care, but now all of a sudden he wants me back. I have to take this whole thing one step at a time.

Trey gently held her hand, “Christine babe I love you”

I pulled away from Trey and held my head down, “Trey please just go”.

Trey stood there for a couple seconds then he left with no hesitation. After Trey left I climbed in bed and cried my eyes out. After about an hour of constant tears flowing down my face, my phone rang. When I looked to see who it was my crying turned to a smile quickly. I tried to answer as if nothing was wrong with me, “Hello”.

“What was that all about?” Trey said upset.

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you working tonight?” Trey asked.

I replied pissed off, “Stop fucking asking me about work. Every time you bring it up you piss me off even more. You know what bye”. It’s so much easier to hang up on him or get mad at him then actually tell him how I feel. It’s a bad habit but I’m just so use to it. Then I go back to crying about him. When I say it like that, it sounds like I’m sabotaging my relationship with the love of my life. My phone then rings again, without looking to see who called I picked up the phone saying, “What do you want” angry.

“That’s the way we answer our phones now?” George said.

I then took the phone from my ears and looked at the screen that read Work. George is my boss and he’s one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. He’s amazing; I couldn’t think to work for anyone better. It’s embarrassing for me to have George hear me in such an unprofessional light.

I said apologizing, “I am so sorry George”.

“Don’t worry about it. What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing sleeping” I said laughing.

“Well you’ve been requested for tonight”

“What? Who is it?”

“He isn’t a normal customer but knows he wants Christina Renee”.

“What’s his status?”

At work we have this chart to see where each customer ranks (Billionaire, Wealthy, Worth it, Qualified). I always ask before I accept a job because I don’t like surprises when it comes to working.

“Extremely Worth It”

“What does he do?”

“He’s an accountant”

“Really? Where am I going?”

“I’m not sure but he wants you to meet him at the Marriott as soon as you can”

“George you do know I don’t do certain things right?”

“Yes, I hope you wouldn’t, it’s against the rules. The guy is probably bored and wants some company”

“That better be what it is”

“If it’s not just leave. I never want you to be uncomfortable”.

I love George so much because even though we work for him he cares about our feelings. He doesn’t just make use do things because he gets paid. He makes sure you are okay first.

“I know that’s why I love you”

“Love you too, talk to you later”

“MuaH…Bye”.

I honestly didn’t want to go but I really needed to get my mind off of Trey. When I got to the hotel I asked for Mr.Thomas and the lady at the front desk gave me a key to the presidential suite. As I was in the elevator waiting for the doors to open at level 13 all I could think of was Trey. When will the day come when I get over this man? The elevator doors opened and I walked out looking for the hotel room. When I found it I knocked then let myself inside. I looked around to find no one.

I called out, “Is there anyone here?”

A voice then replied, “In the bathroom make yourself comfortable in the bed”.

This was one of the things I absolutely hated. You know what I’m here for and you tell me some shit like make yourself comfortable in the bed. My first instinct was to walk out of that hotel room. Once I put my hand on the door to leave I turned back. I have to get over Trey. I know what I’m about to do isn’t the best way to get over a man but I have to do something. I made my way into the bedroom where he had candles lit all around the room. It was romantic. I undressed to my bra and underwear lying on the bed facing the bathroom. I switched in many different positions before getting it right. After adjusting myself enough I decided to also take my bra off leaving me in a purple thong. I sat there waiting for this man to come out of the bathroom.

“What’s taking so long?” I said in a soft sexy voice.

Trey walks out the bathroom door shirtless smiling back at Christina.

To Be Continued…