“I have to think about it”, I said uneasy.
“What is there to think about?” Trey said irritated.
“You don’t understand”, I said trying to end the conversation.
“I can’t understand something you’re not telling me”
“It’s too much to explain”, I replied hoping Trey would get the point.
“Christina I love you and I need you to open up to me”.
I can’t believe he has the nerve to say I won’t open up when he’s the one who broke my heart.
“Like I did before and you up and left?”
“I was scared because I didn’t understand but now I’m okay with it”, Trey said sounding a little uneasy.
Pissed off I replied, “You’re okay with it? Trey I don’t care if you’re okay with it. I need you to feel secure. I need you to trust that I won’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m trying but you already know shit happens”, he said trying to convince me.
“No, I don’t know that shit happens because I can control myself. I never put myself in a situation I can’t get out of, but I’m pretty sure you’ve had multiple shit happen moments.”
“I didn’t call you so we can point fingers at each other. I just want us back”
“That won’t happen overnight”, I have to make Trey know that my feelings aren’t to be toyed with again.
“I’m willing to start over if that means we’ll end up where we were”
His words sound sincere but what can I really believe. The words “Yes I would love to start over”, wants to come out but I have to hold it back. I need to know that Trey is as serious about us as I am, before putting myself in one hundred percent.
“Meet me at my place tonight”, I said emotionless.
“I’ll be there sometime in the AM”
“I don’t care, you just need to get here”
“Don’t worry, I love you”
“See you soon”
I hung up the phone and held it to my chest for a few moments before putting it down. I just couldn’t say I loved him back because I didn’t know, if his love was genuine.
I could feel Victoria staring at me waiting to put her two cents in, “Why do you keep treating him like that?”
I immediately looked at her annoyed, “How the hell am I treating him?”
“You’re just being unnecessary”
“I’m being unnecessary? V you should understand how I feel about what Trey did to me. Do I need to bring up his name?”
Upset Victoria replied, “Don’t even go there”
“I won’t but don’t act like you never felt how I feel”
“That’s exactly why I’m telling you not to treat Trey like that. He’s going to get tired of the bullshit and move on without you, even if he’s still in love. That’s what I did, with you know who, and I regret it still to this day.”
Victoria was one of those females who seem to have it all together on the outside but she was completely broken inside. She recently got dumped by her ex Elmont after she kept playing the blame game. Elmont cheated on her a few times. After feeling bad about his secret he sat Victoria down to explain the other women, and she went berserk. He was doing everything possible to gain her trust back but she continuously put him through hell with no sign of their relationship building. So he got tired of her bullshit and told her he loved her but he couldn’t do it anymore. Of course she was upset because she was still crazy in love with him. Also he had the nerve to break up with her after he was the wrong one. Victoria was and still is an emotional wreak for the break up. Ever since, she has taken it upon herself to make sure all of her friend’s relationships run smoothly. I appreciate it but I want her to work on herself.
“I understand”, was my response. There was nothing much I could say because she was ultimately right.
Omar (Big O)
Victoria’s phone began to ring. She looked at it for a few moments before picking it up, “Hello”, she said with a smile. She held the phone to her ear enjoying every word the person on the other end spoke. She looked at me then walked into the other room to continue her conversation.
Just then a text came to my phone. When I picked it up to read it read “BO”. Just the man I wanted to talk to at a time like this. The text read, “I was thinking about you so thought I would shoot you a text. Wassup?” Yes, he’s thinking about me. I shouldn’t care but I kind of miss him. I texted back, “Aww how sweet. I’m at my friend’s house. Imu ;-)”
As I awaited his next text my face began to light up. Why? I have no idea. He then texted, “I need to see you”. I texted back, “You already know it’s about timing.” Then he said, “Tonight?” Before I could reply Victoria walked back into the room saying, “Yeah, of course see you later”, before hanging up the phone.
Being noisy I asked, “Who was that?”
“Just some guy”, she said brushing me off.
“I think it’s more than some guy”, I said trying to get some information out of her.
“Girl, you already know it’s not a big deal. He serves his purpose which is something I need in my life right about now”, she said with no feeling.
I can tell she wanted more than just a guy for the moment. I just don’t know how to stop her from being afraid of her feelings.
I should be the last person telling someone not to be afraid of their feelings. I just hate to see her like this, probably the same way she hates to see me worrying about Trey. Relationships can be extremely complicated sometimes. You get stuck and don’t know where to turn next. It really takes time for you to turn in the right direction.
Concerned I asked, “Where did you meet this guy?”
She looked afraid to answer, “I don’t remember”.
“Oh really”, I said with a look of disbelief.
“What? I don’t remember”, She said
“I just hope you’re not messing around with work”
She replied, “Are you judging?”
“So it is work? Spill”, I said waiting for her to speak.
“We met a while ago”.
“I don’t care clients are off limits”
“He’s not a client”, she whispered under her breath.
“It’s not a client”, she repeated under her breath.
“Why don’t you speak a little louder”, I said annoyed.
“It’s not a damn client”, she said loud and with anger.
I asked confused, “If it’s not a client then”, I stopped and thought about it before I continue, “No not George?”
“Eww girl no”, Victoria said with disgust.
“Then who the hell are you talking about? The only other person is, but you don’t know him”
Victoria stared into space with no response. Her reaction said it all, “It’s Omar, but when did you meet him?”
She still wasn’t talking.
“Victoria seriously is it Omar?”
She said hesitating, “you can’t say anything”.
“You’re fucking Big O?”
“Don’t make it at big deal”
“It’s a big deal because he says he never fucks around with his girls.”
Confused she replied, “I thought you all we really close?”
I can’t believe this fucker. He has the nerve to tell Victoria about me. Why would he do some shit like that? I don’t know if I should be more upset than hurt, but right now I’m feeling hurt more than anything.
“He told you that?” I said confused.
“It doesn’t matter”, Victoria said trying to end the conversation.
“If you get Big O’s attention that’s a huge deal, now speak”
Victoria spoke with a smile, “I was at the office because George and I had to speak about some important information I found out. So while I was there George’s assistant came barging in and you know how George gets when people interrupt his meetings. So he was about to fuss at her before she said, “Big O is on his way upstairs”. George of course was excited but I was a little confused to why they were so happy to see their boss.”
“I know why”, I said with a straight face.
“I mean at the time I didn’t but now I do”
“I can’t believe…”
“Do you want to hear the rest of the story or do you want to keep talking? Cause I will let you”
“Sorry, keep talking”, I said holding back the real words that should have came out.
“Anyway when Omar came in”
“Wow, you even call him Omar”
Victoria looked at me with a blank stare then continued, “So when Big O came in George dapped him up. And the assistant was so thirsty it was disgusting. I just sat there waiting for them to finish their greetings so George and I could finish our conversation. Of course you know I was annoyed and I think Omar could tell so he introduced himself, “Wassup I’m Omar but everyone calls me Big O”.
“I know”, I said carelessly.
“And you are?” Omar said with a smile.
“I don’t usually put “The” before my name”
“Well the way George talks about you, you should”, he said with a smile.
“I’ll think about it”, Victoria replied brushing him off.
Omar looked me directly in the eye and said, “George I can see why you like her so much.”
Victoria continues to say, “The eye contact we made put me in a trance for a couple second but I quickly got myself together. Honestly I don’t know what was said after that all I knew is I wanted Omar badly.”
I can’t believe Omar he knows that Victoria and I are extremely close and he pulls some shit like this.
I interrupted, “Every girl wants to fuck him”
“Excluding you?” she said laughing.
“That was way before I began working for him. Did he tell you that?”
“You already know your secret is safe with me”, she said zipping her mouth.
“You better watch out for him because his ass is sneaky”
“Girl you already know how I handle men like him”
“Okay, just be careful”
I don’t think I have room to be upset, I am still in love with my ex. Just to know he would even go that far pisses me off. When I got home I made a phone call that was well needed.
Omar answered the phone, “Hey beautiful so are we on for tonight?”
“O do you have something to tell me”
“No, do you want me to tell you something?” He replied confused.
“Why are you fucking Victoria?”
“Why are you fucking your ex?”
I can’t believe this dude went there with me. His nonchalant attitude pissed me off.
“You heard me?” he said calmly.
“O that’s my friend”
“I didn’t know that until after”
“Yes, you did because I’ve told you about her many times”
“Well I like her”, he said carelessly.
I replied, “Stop fucking her”.
“Stop fucking your ex”, he responded.
I had nothing to say. I can’t just break it off with Trey for a man who is even more confused than Trey.
“I thought so, and Victoria is really nice.”
“Well you know what have fun and don’t ever call me again”, I explained before slamming the phone down.
I laid on my couch thinking about Omar which was weird because I wanted Trey more than I wanted Omar. As I began to fall asleep my doorbell rang. I attempted to ignore it but the person kept knocking. I got up to open the door. When I looked through the peep hole a smile appeared on my face.
To be Continued…