(Because I Love You) Chapter 8: Mixed Signals


OMAR

Omar yelled, “Did you hear me the first time?”
I couldn’t speak, looking at the phone then back at Omar. I decided in that moment, to cut the conversation short whispering, “I’ll call you back”. Quickly I hung up the phone, then looked over at Omar. I thought to myself, I can play this in two ways, I can play the victim card or I could play the asshole. I grappled with the decision for a few seconds. I choose the asshole, “don’t look at me like that”, I said dismissing his presents, walking around him to the living room. He turned around and followed me, grabbing my arm to stop me,”So our conversation yesterday meant nothing?”. I pulled my hand out of his grip looking him, “You must’ve lost your goddamn mind, Don’t ever grab me again”, I said perjecting my voice. Omar threw his hands up in the air, then slowly stepped back.


CHRISTINA

I continue to walk to the living room and sat down on the couch. I looked over at Omar, who was still looking at me.

“It’s fine with me, if you don’t want to follow our agreement, I will gladly continue what I’m doing”, Omar said with a smile. He then walks to the back to the bedroom. I could hear moving around from the living room. I didn’t pay him any attention. I remained in the living room, a lot of thoughts roaming through my head. I don’t want to lose Omar, but I don’t know if I’m ready to lose Trey either. Omar made his way back into the kitchen. Grabbing his jacket on the chair, right before he put his hand on the door he looks over at me once more and says, “I’ll let myself out”. At this point my head was down in my hands. As I heard the door open, I popped up and ran to the door; closing it before Omar even fully opened it, “You’re not being fair”, I said as my eyes began to water. 

“What do you mean I’m not being fair? I gave you an option. You told me that you were going to handle it, and you didn’t, so explain to me how I’m not being fair?”, Omar said waiting for me to respond.

“It’s not that easy for me”, I reply looking down feeling ashamed to look him in the eye.

Omar replied sarcastically grabbing the door again to open it, “Well it’s not that easy for me either”.

I push the door close once more then responded, “You’re just saying that because I said it, I’m not saying it’s hard to leave Trey just because but you know damn well that you’re saying that you can’t stop messing with Victoria just to be an asshole. Unlike you I don’t throw my feelings around anywhere”.

Omar getting tired of the back-and-forth and finally said, “Christina what are you saying to me?”

I said with tears running down my face, ” l don’t know, I really just don’t know”.

“Well when you figure it out you let me know, but until then you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see”, Omar grab the door once more and this time he left slammed the door behind him. I said in the same spot by the door for at least five minutes.

I don’t know how I’ve gotten to this place. This place of loneliness. It’s so dark and quiet here. No matter how hard I try to find the light the dark continues to turn the switch.

For a couple of days I stayed in the house in complete silence. I’m sure by now, I have many missed calls but I really had no interest in talking to anyone. I couldn’t even tell my best friend about what I was dealing with, because we are dealing with the same guy. Anyone else I could possibly talk to about it, would tell me what I didn’t need to hear. Laying in my bed I close my eyes and thought to myself, who do you want? Is it Omar or is it Trey? I kept repeating those same lines in my head over and over again, hoping to get the answer that I needed.

As I was in my own thoughts, I heard the doorbell ring. Hoping that the person would go away so I could remained in my bed. Once I realize the person wasn’t going to leave. I got up out of my bed and walk to the door when I looked out of the peep hole, it was Victoria. All I could think to myself was, “this is not the person I want to see you right now”. I actually feel bad for those thoughts in mind but I couldn’t help it. She had gotten tangled up in a love triangle without even asking for it. I open the door and there she was standing there with a bottle of wine in her hand.

“I have been calling and texting you, but you haven’t been answering, thought you might need some of this”, she said as she out of the bottle of wine.

She walked into the apartment and I close the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and put the bottle down on the kitchen counter then looked back at me, that was right behind her.

“So what’s going on and why the hell do you look like this?”‘, she said awaiting my response looking me up and down.

I didn’t say anything I just grabbed the bottle opener out of the first drawer and begin opening the wine bottle.

“Please don’t tell me this is about Trey again?”, she asked still awaiting for me to respond.

I still remain quiet grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet and began pouring the wine. Then simply handed one glass to Victoria and walking into the living room. I sat down on the couch with the wine glass in hand, finally taking a sip. Victoria hurried over to the couch, sitting next to me eager to know what I was going to say next, “So it is about Trey?”, she asked to bring her wine.

“Yeah it’s about him”, I said sipping my wine once more.

“What did he do now?”, she said waiting for me to respond.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t know what he wants. One minute he wants to be in a committed relationship the next minute he wants to be single, I can’t deal with his flip-floppy ways”, I said frustrated taking another sip.

“You have to tell him it’s over, I know it’s going to be hard but its the right thing to do. You can’t keep putting yourself through this. He’s not worth it, no man is worth it”, she informed me.

I loved all the words Victoria’s feeding me, but is better said than done. I really need to look inside myself and be strong.

Victoria turn to look at me and held my hand ,”I do have something to tell you, I don’t think you’re going to be very happy about it”. I see that she was honestly worried about what I would think so I just asked, “what’s wrong?”. She was still silent trying to figure out how to make the words come out. I held her hand, then nodded my head for her to continue to speak. She finally spoke, “Omar asked me to move in with him?”. Was I losing my mind? Did she just say Omar wants her to move in with him? Are you fucking serious right now? Why would he do that? I try my hardest not to let any tears fall from my eyes. I can’t believe him. He’s really trying to hurt me, and he’s doing a damn good job.
To Be Continued…

(It’s Because I Love You) Chapter 7: He Gets To Me

christine

Christina

It’s the man I have been thinking about uncontrollably. I open the door to see Omar slowly lift his head up. I want to tell them to leave, but I urge the feeling of his touch. He looks at me with guilt, because he knew what I was going to do next, and holds out a bouquet of flowers. He got me, he knows it’s my favorite, Lilies, there’s something about the color and smile that always brings a smile to my face. In that moment I knew I would become a victim of his smooth smile, soft touch, and athletic body, but I still try to play it cool.

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Omar “Big O”

“What are you doing here?”, I ask standing firmly at the doorway.
“Your not gonna let me in?”, He replies with his bright smile.
“Why should I?” I ask awaiting a legitimate response.
“We talked about meeting up tonight, I have flowers and you don’t want them to get all dried up. Do you?”, He says smiling.
I don’t respond, I just look him directly in his eyes.
“I don’t have time for this”, he shoves his way into the house. He then looks back at me, “Close the door”.
I turn around and look at him with the door still open waiting for him to leave. He puts the flowers down on the table then walks over to me and slowly close the door.
He then says, “Are you happy now?”
“No I wanted you to leave” I reply with an attitude.
Omar got in front of me and gently touched my face, moving in to kiss me.
“So you thought you were gonna come over here, bring flowers and everything was gonna be okay?”
Omar replies, “No, I thought you were gonna give me a hard time, like you’re doing right now”.
Omar has always had his way of getting what he wanted. I think that’s what I like most about him. People never want to disappoint him. What he fails to realize is that I’m not those people. He has gotten so use to women doing what he wants, that he tries that shit with me.
“You’ve crossed boundaries that can be considered unforgivable”, I announce looking Omar in the eyes.
“Well do you not forgive me?”, he ask awaiting for response.
“I don’t know yet”
“How do you not know?” Omar ask confused. Omar knew that I was clearly hurt by his relations with Victoria. I want to say something but it wouldn’t have come out as polite as I would want it to.
“Maybe I could give you a better answer if you stop fucking my friend”, I say with my hands crossed.
“I already told you, I will if you don’t see your ex anymore”
“What the fuck, that’s not even fair, so your going to keep fucking my friend because I won’t do what you want”
“You can’t make demands if your not gonna follow through with any of mine”
“Well then I’ll stop fucking my ex if you promise to break it off with her”
“Alright you got it, I won’t see her anymore”
“You promise?”, I ask with a smile.
“you got my word”, he says as he gently touching my face.
“well I like the sound of that”, I said as I kiss him.

I don’t know what it is but there is something comforting about Omar’s lips. Every time we lock lips, I seem to imagine all the things that I can’t have with him. He began to tear my clothes off piece by piece. He grabbed my hair forcing my head back, as he begin licking my neck, while his other hand slowly moved down my stomach to between my thighs. I bite my bottom lip as I tried to gain control of the situation but as usual I fell deep into his seduction. He spun me back around, grabbing me tight and look me in the eyes and said, “We have agreement?”
“Not exactly”, I respond with no hesitation.
“Oh really?”, Omar asked.
I nodded confirming his disbelief.
“Maybe i can change that”, he said as he lifts me up slowly kissing all over my body, while carrying me to the room. I couldn’t fighting anymore, I just let it happen.
The next morning I woke up with Omar’s broad shoulders right around me. I still can’t explain why he has such a hold on me. I think it’s because of the way he treated me when I had nobody. He gave me a chance, by giving me a job when I needed it the most.
Some would say my job is unorthodox, but I see it as a way to survive. There’s nothing about my job that forces me to do anything, I feel uncomfortable with. But I will say, my job is a little risky for some individuals.
Before Omar I’d been in multiple relationships, but Omar was the first person to make me feel like a woman. All my other relationships seem to be fun, as if we were in a relationship because we could. With Omar I feel like I didn’t have a choice. Like no matter how much I wanted to run away my heart wouldn’t allow me to.
I turned over to look at my cell phone, and on the screen I saw 10 missed calls. Immediately I knew who it was. As I open my phone, I slowly rose up from Omar’s grip, to sit up on the bed. Then I saw that I also had a voicemail. I put the phone to my ear, and begin playing the voicemail.
“I want to hear your voice, call me when you have the time”, Trey said with such conviction. I replayed the message one more time just to hear his voice. I then looked over to the bedroom where Omar was sleeping, then back to my phone and smile. Although I wanted to be with Omar. I also feel a strong love for Trey. Usually I never have to choose one over the other, but now they’re both here at the same time fighting for the same position in my life. I got up and went into the other room to call Trey back. As a phone rang my heart began to beat fast because I didn’t know what to say to him. Trey answers the phone with the raspy voice he had in the morning, the same voice I love to here next to me in the morning.
“Hello”, Trey replies.
“good morning”, I say with a sense nervousness
“Good morning”, he says with a bit of excitement
“I just got your message, I thought it’d be polite, that I called you back”
“I don’t want to be polite, I want you to call me back because it’s something you truly want. Not because you feel it’s right”, he replies frustrated.
I’m beginning to think that Trey’s “good morning” wasn’t as pleasant as I thought it was.
“maybe I shouldn’t of called you sorry”, I prepare myself to hang up.
“Babe wait”, he interjects “I understand, I’m just a little upset”
“I know and I understand why, I’m a little confused right now and I don’t know what to do”
Seconds later Omar silently my walks into the room.
“I just need you to give me some time to figure out what I want”, I says emotionally connected.
“Who you talking to?”, Forcefully ask.
I couldn’t respond, I was completely dumbfounded.

To Be Continued…

Is It More Than What It Seems? (Part 2)

wale_1440x1440_5

Wale as Mike 

I’m lying in bed with this woman in my arms. All I can think about is Meagan…

I haven’t really talked to her since her date with that guy she went out with a week ago. I’m guessing it went well because she has not called me.

The doorbell rings. I immediately I look over at the time… It’s 9:01 AM. Who the hell is at my door this early in the morning? I slowly slid my arm from under her head and got up.

I put my shorts on and headed to the door. I looked out the peep hole to see Meagan. What is she doing here so early? “Fuck,” I said to myself as I opened the door.

dessi4

Dessi as Meagan

Meagan pushed her way into the house, “Why the hell did it take you so long to answer the door?” she said with an attitude.

I closed the door behind her and followed her into the kitchen, “I was sleeping”

Meagan replied with a sense of guilt, “Oh sorry, I thought maybe you were in here with a woman. I was trying to be noisy”.

Laughing, “Noisy for what?”

“You know how you are”, she said looking at with a cute smile.

“Why are you even up this early?” I said trying to get myself to fully wake up.

Meagan said with a big smile, “I really want to come over here and talk to you about this guy. I know it’s early but I had to talk to someone”

Sitting down I said looking at her, “what about this guy?”

She sat down in the chair beside me excited, “Okay so do you remember the date I went on last week?”

I said with a straight face, “uhhh yeah what about it?”

“Well the guy is a sweetheart and we literally have been spending crazy time together”

“That’s why I haven’t gotten any calls from you?” I said in my feelings about the situation.

“Sorry I just been preoccupied”, She said with a sweet grin.

“You didn’t fuck this guy, did you?” I asked with suspicion.

“What? Hell no! You know me better than that” she said a little confused.

Hearing those words, made me feel much better about the situation. The truth is if she said the opposite I couldn’t do anything about it. It’s the fact that I know she hasn’t gotten into anything serious with this guy. The question that keeps repeating in my head is; if she knew how I felt would she give me a chance? And I keep repeating the same answer. I know her response would be “NO!” because she knows about all my previous relationships that ended in destruction in full detail.

Meagan continued, “I don’t care how much I like him. I don’t give it up that easy”

“I know, I need to find me a girl like you”

She shook her head in disagreement, “You don’t want someone like me. You couldn’t handle the pressure to be in that type of relationship”

“I can handle that kind of relationship” I said in an aggressive tone.

“This coming from the man that can’t live without sex for more than two weeks, Mike I know you like the back of my hand. You like the thought of a woman like me but you could never deal with that type of woman on a serious level.”

Does she really think I can’t commit myself to one woman? This isn’t true, I can, I just haven’t found the right person that has made me feel the kind of love I want.

Meagan has always been the person I turn to for support and I now realize that she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. How do I tell her that?

“I haven’t been in a relationship where I felt the need to wait. The relationships I have been in, in the past, were developed because of sex and some may have grown further but never serious. I just don’t believe in putting in time with someone that I don’t feel a certain love for. I’ll keep you around if you’re good at what you do but you aren’t going to be my wife.”

“Your wife?  You think about marriage when your dating?” laughing a bit confused.

“Yeah, when I think of getting serious with a woman, she must be someone I feel I can potentially marry”

Laughing, “You’re joking right?”

Mike has a straight face wonder what Meagan found so funny.

Meagan continued, “Oh, you’re serious. I would never expect you to say something like that”

“Yeah I realize that now” I replied pissed about where the conversation was heading.

There was an awkward silence for a second as Meagan scrolled through her phone then looked up and said, “Okay, I’m going to go now. I’ll talk to you later”. Meagan got up and walked out of the front door. I wasn’t happy with the way Meagan and I ended our conversation together. I feel as though she has a negative image of the person I am, but who can really blame her. I got up and locked the door behind her just then Kelly came walking out of the room in my tee shirt.

Pretty+Black+woman+with+beautiful+eyes+lays+on+the+grass
Kelly

“Who was that?” Kelly asked pointing to the door in suspicion.

“It was a friend” I said walking away from the door.

Kelly repeated my words in suspicion, “A friend”

I nodded my head “Yes”.

Kelly replied, “If it was a friend why didn’t you introduce us?”

“You were sleeping babe; I didn’t want to walk you up”

“So was this friend a male or female?” looking Mike directly in the eye with her hands folded.

“What?”

“You heard what I said” She replied waiting for his response

“Why does it matter?” I said walking to the bedroom

She followed me into the room pissed, “Because if it was just a friend you would have let me see them. Yes or no?”

“I told you I didn’t want to wake you up”

“Bullshit, you’re a fucking liar. Why do you always do this shit?” She said with her eyes tearing up.

“What did I do now?” I said shaking my head in irritation

“You tell me about how much you care and love me, then you do disrespectful shit like this. If you don’t want me just let me know and I’ll leave you alone” she said as the tearing rolled down her face.

“If I didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be here right now” I gently pulled her close and wiped her eyes, “I love you and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you”.

Why the hell did I just lie to her again? I won’t lie I do care about Kelly but I’m just not in love with her. I hate to say it but she’s just my distraction. I just can’t stand to see her in front of me crying knowing I’m the one causing it. I rather just tell her what she wants to hear to ease the situation.

“Are you sure?” she said sniffling and wiping her eyes again.

“Yes, I love you”, I said I kissed her on the lips.

This brought a smile to her face but hurt me deep inside. Kelly gets what she wants but when will I ever get what I want?

 To Be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 6: You Don’t Understand

Christina

“I have to think about it”, I said uneasy.

“What is there to think about?” Trey said irritated.

“You don’t understand”, I said trying to end the conversation.

“I can’t understand something you’re not telling me”

“It’s too much to explain”, I replied hoping Trey would get the point.

“Christina I love you and I need you to open up to me”.

I can’t believe he has the nerve to say I won’t open up when he’s the one who broke my heart.

“Like I did before and you up and left?”

“I was scared because I didn’t understand but now I’m okay with it”, Trey said sounding a little uneasy.

Pissed off I replied, “You’re okay with it? Trey I don’t care if you’re okay with it. I need you to feel secure. I need you to trust that I won’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m trying but you already know shit happens”, he said trying to convince me.

“No, I don’t know that shit happens because I can control myself. I never put myself in a situation I can’t get out of, but I’m pretty sure you’ve had multiple shit happen moments.”

“I didn’t call you so we can point fingers at each other. I just want us back”

“That won’t happen overnight”, I have to make Trey know that my feelings aren’t to be toyed with again.

“I’m willing to start over if that means we’ll end up where we were”

His words sound sincere but what can I really believe.  The words “Yes I would love to start over”, wants to come out but I have to hold it back. I need to know that Trey is as serious about us as I am, before putting myself in one hundred percent.

“Meet me at my place tonight”, I said emotionless.

“I’ll be there sometime in the AM”

“I don’t care, you just need to get here”

“Don’t worry, I love you”

“See you soon”

I hung up the phone and held it to my chest for a few moments before putting it down. I just couldn’t say I loved him back because I didn’t know, if his love was genuine.

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Victoria

I could feel Victoria staring at me waiting to put her two cents in, “Why do you keep treating him like that?”

I immediately looked at her annoyed, “How the hell am I treating him?”

“You’re just being unnecessary”

“I’m being unnecessary? V you should understand how I feel about what Trey did to me. Do I need to bring up his name?”

Upset Victoria replied, “Don’t even go there”

“I won’t but don’t act like you never felt how I feel”

“That’s exactly why I’m telling you not to treat Trey like that. He’s going to get tired of the bullshit and move on without you, even if he’s still in love. That’s what I did, with you know who, and I regret it still to this day.”

Victoria was one of those females who seem to have it all together on the outside but she was completely broken inside. She recently got dumped by her ex Elmont after she kept playing the blame game. Elmont cheated on her a few times. After feeling bad about his secret he sat Victoria down to explain the other women, and she went berserk. He was doing everything possible to gain her trust back but she continuously put him through hell with no sign of their relationship building. So he got tired of her bullshit and told her he loved her but he couldn’t do it anymore. Of course she was upset because she was still crazy in love with him. Also he had the nerve to break up with her after he was the wrong one. Victoria was and still is an emotional wreak for the break up. Ever since, she has taken it upon herself to make sure all of her friend’s relationships run smoothly. I appreciate it but I want her to work on herself.

“I understand”, was my response. There was nothing much I could say because she was ultimately right.

Omar (Big O)

Victoria’s phone began to ring. She looked at it for a few moments before picking it up, “Hello”, she said with a smile. She held the phone to her ear enjoying every word the person on the other end spoke. She looked at me then walked into the other room to continue her conversation.

Just then a text came to my phone. When I picked it up to read it read “BO”. Just the man I wanted to talk to at a time like this. The text read, “I was thinking about you so thought I would shoot you a text. Wassup?” Yes, he’s thinking about me. I shouldn’t care but I kind of miss him. I texted back, “Aww how sweet. I’m at my friend’s house. Imu ;-)”

As I awaited his next text my face began to light up. Why? I have no idea. He then texted, “I need to see you”. I texted back, “You already know it’s about timing.” Then he said, “Tonight?” Before I could reply Victoria walked back into the room saying, “Yeah, of course see you later”, before hanging up the phone.

Being noisy I asked, “Who was that?”

“Just some guy”, she said brushing me off.

“I think it’s more than some guy”, I said trying to get some information out of her.

“Girl, you already know it’s not a big deal. He serves his purpose which is something I need in my life right about now”, she said with no feeling.

I can tell she wanted more than just a guy for the moment. I just don’t know how to stop her from being afraid of her feelings.

I should be the last person telling someone not to be afraid of their feelings. I just hate to see her like this, probably the same way she hates to see me worrying about Trey. Relationships can be extremely complicated sometimes. You get stuck and don’t know where to turn next. It really takes time for you to turn in the right direction.

Concerned I asked, “Where did you meet this guy?”

She looked afraid to answer, “I don’t remember”.

“Oh really”, I said with a look of disbelief.

“What? I don’t remember”, She said

“I just hope you’re not messing around with work”

She replied, “Are you judging?”

“So it is work? Spill”, I said waiting for her to speak.

“We met a while ago”.

“I don’t care clients are off limits”

“He’s not a client”, she whispered under her breath.

“What?”

“It’s not a client”, she repeated under her breath.

“Why don’t you speak a little louder”, I said annoyed.

“It’s not a damn client”, she said loud and with anger.

I asked confused, “If it’s not a client then”, I stopped and thought about it before I continue, “No not George?”

“Eww girl no”, Victoria said with disgust.

“Then who the hell are you talking about? The only other person is, but you don’t know him”

Victoria stared into space with no response. Her reaction said it all, “It’s Omar, but when did you meet him?”

She still wasn’t talking.

“Victoria seriously is it Omar?”

She said hesitating, “you can’t say anything”.

“You’re fucking Big O?”

“Don’t make it at big deal”

“It’s a big deal because he says he never fucks around with his girls.”

Confused she replied, “I thought you all we really close?”

I can’t believe this fucker. He has the nerve to tell Victoria about me. Why would he do some shit like that? I don’t know if I should be more upset than hurt, but right now I’m feeling hurt more than anything.

“He told you that?” I said confused.

“It doesn’t matter”, Victoria said trying to end the conversation.

“If you get Big O’s attention that’s a huge deal, now speak”

Victoria spoke with a smile, “I was at the office because George and I had to speak about some important information I found out. So while I was there George’s assistant came barging in and you know how George gets when people interrupt his meetings. So he was about to fuss at her before she said, “Big O is on his way upstairs”. George of course was excited but I was a little confused to why they were so happy to see their boss.”

“I know why”, I said with a straight face.

“I mean at the time I didn’t but now I do”

“I can’t believe…”

“Do you want to hear the rest of the story or do you want to keep talking? Cause I will let you”

“Sorry, keep talking”, I said holding back the real words that should have came out.

“Anyway when Omar came in”

“Wow, you even call him Omar”

Victoria looked at me with a blank stare then continued, “So when Big O came in George dapped him up. And the assistant was so thirsty it was disgusting. I just sat there waiting for them to finish their greetings so George and I could finish our conversation. Of course you know I was annoyed and I think Omar could tell so he introduced himself, “Wassup I’m Omar but everyone calls me Big O”.

“I know”, I said carelessly.

“And you are?” Omar said with a smile.

“Victoria”

“The Victoria”

“I don’t usually put “The” before my name”

“Well the way George talks about you, you should”, he said with a smile.

“I’ll think about it”, Victoria replied brushing him off.

Omar looked me directly in the eye and said, “George I can see why you like her so much.”

Victoria continues to say, “The eye contact we made put me in a trance for a couple second but I quickly got myself together. Honestly I don’t know what was said after that all I knew is I wanted Omar badly.”

I can’t believe Omar he knows that Victoria and I are extremely close and he pulls some shit like this.

I interrupted, “Every girl wants to fuck him”

“Excluding you?” she said laughing.

“That was way before I began working for him. Did he tell you that?”

“You already know your secret is safe with me”, she said zipping her mouth.

“You better watch out for him because his ass is sneaky”

“Girl you already know how I handle men like him”

“Okay, just be careful”

I don’t think I have room to be upset, I am still in love with my ex. Just to know he would even go that far pisses me off. When I got home I made a phone call that was well needed.

Omar answered the phone, “Hey beautiful so are we on for tonight?”

“O do you have something to tell me”

“No, do you want me to tell you something?” He replied confused.

“Why are you fucking Victoria?”

“Why are you fucking your ex?”

I can’t believe this dude went there with me. His nonchalant attitude pissed me off.

“What?”

“You heard me?” he said calmly.

“O that’s my friend”

“I didn’t know that until after”

“Yes, you did because I’ve told you about her many times”

“Well I like her”, he said carelessly.

I replied, “Stop fucking her”.

“Stop fucking your ex”, he responded.

I had nothing to say. I can’t just break it off with Trey for a man who is even more confused than Trey.

“I thought so, and Victoria is really nice.”

“Well you know what have fun and don’t ever call me again”, I explained before slamming the phone down.

I laid on my couch thinking about Omar which was weird because I wanted Trey more than I wanted Omar. As I began to fall asleep my doorbell rang. I attempted to ignore it but the person kept knocking. I got up to open the door. When I looked through the peep hole a smile appeared on my face.

 To be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 2: My Life Is Now Upsidedown

image Christina

As I sat on my couch with a glass of wine in hand, my phone rings taking from the memories of that night. When I looked at the phone, it read Gabby. I had no interest to hear what she had to say but as I sat there watching the phone ring and finally picked it up.

“Hello”, I mumbled annoyed

“You coming tonight?” she said happily in a loud background.

“No”, I said frustrated

“Why not…You know what, hold that thought, and open the door I’m outside”

“What? Why?”

“Just open the door”

When I opened the door standing there was Gabby, Briana, Victoria, Robin, and Debby. I didn’t know why they were all determined, to get me to go out the house.

image Gabby

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Briana

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Victoria

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Robin

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Debby

“Get dressed”, Briana said forcefully.

“I don’t want to go” I replied.

“Why not?” Victoria whined.

“I just don’t feel like it”, I said

“Since when do you not feel like partying?” Laughed Robin

“Tonight”

“You have to” Debby said.

“Why do you insist I go?” I said wondering.

“Business baby girl” Debby answered.

“You do know there isn’t going to be anyone there worth your time, Right?” I replied.

“You don’t know that, maybe someone Trey is with…” Debby said.

“Oh no you know the rules you don’t settle for anybody. If it’s not the best then leave it where it stands” Robin preached.

“Preach sista, don’t let physical attraction cloud your mind to the purpose of our job” Gabby added.

Victoria interjected, “I don’t know what you’re talking about but, I want to go out to have fun for a change, no work involved and to be honest Christina you need to have fun. You work more than all of us. I don’t even know if you have a personal life anymore”.

Victoria knew the most about me out of the four of them. She knew about me and Trey and kept it to herself. So I would have to agree with her. Ever since Trey and I broke it off, I’ve been working longer and harder to avoid thinking about him but nothing or no one seemed to fill the void. I’m miserable and Victoria knows it.

“Okay fine I’ll go, now leave me along”. I said going into my room.

When we got to the club there was a line wrapped around the block. As we walked to the front of the line, we were automatically let in. Our job did have some perks and we took full advantage of them all. Gabby had gotten us a table, so as soon as we walked in we made our way to our table. The club was already packed and they were still letting people in. I was glad Gabby had gotten us a table ahead of time. Trey of course wasn’t there yet. My phone began ringing and a smiley face appeared on the screen.

Robin picked up my phone and said, “Smiley face, really? Is this work?”

I grabbed the phone out of her hand, “Mind your business”

“Someone’s getting busy with work”, Robin joked

Victoria defended Christine, “you’re the last one who should be talking about getting busy with work. That’s your hobby”.

All the girls started laughing which ended up making Robin upset.

“It was just a joke, calm down”, Victoria laughed.

I then began getting text messages, “Hey baby Wassup. I’m in town tonight I want to see you” and “I miss you”. As I read the messages I was confused. He broke it off with me and now he’s telling me he misses me. I slipped my phone to Victoria under the table so she could read the messages. After reading the messages she looked up, slipped me the phone and said, “Speaking of the devil”. I turned around to see Trey walking in with his entourage. The moment everyone saw, Trey cameras went crazy and female’s dresses got shorter.

When Trey and I were in a relationship we didn’t make public appearances together. Whenever we went out it was more of a calm or private place. I didn’t care for the world to know about us. The people we truly loved and cared about knew we were together and that was enough for me.

I watched Trey walk from the door all the way to his booth, wishing he was still mine. In that moment I thought about all the wonderful times Trey and I had together. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. The girls looked around in confusion.

“What wrong with her?” said Briana. The girls shrugged their shoulders.

“She’s so dramatic. She always want attention”, Robin said taking a sip of her drink.

“I’m going to go see what’s wrong”, said Debby.

“No, I’ll go”, said Victoria as she quickly made her way to the bathroom. Victoria walked in to see me leaning against the wall.

To Be Continued…

(Its Because I Love You) Chapter 1 : Seeing Trey Hurts

 
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out, especially with all the hype about Trey being in town. I knew inside of me, seeing him would definitely make my day, but I didn’t know if he would feel the same after our last encounter.

Two weeks ago Trey and I attended an event for American Veterans. I had no idea Trey was going to attend this event, when I walked in and heard Trey’s name my heart dropped. I was torn. Considering this had been the first time Trey and I had seen one another since our break up. I didn’t make it my priority to speak with him, but it was hard not to. The government was honoring Trey for his “Your Side of the Bed” music video, which brought awareness to the way military families feel and the sacrifices they have to make. I was so proud of him because I knew how hard he worked to be where he is. The thing that hurt was the fact that I couldn’t tell him how I really felt.

At one point I was walking and Diana stopped me and said, “love your outfit”, and of course Trey was standing next to her staring while sipping on his wine. I assumed he was waiting for me to acknowledge his presence. I was surprised that Diana had spoken to me since we haven’t seen each other in over a year. I was wearing a long red dress that fit tight and fell a little pass my knee and long in the back. The straps wrapped around my neck with a plunging cut in both the front and back.

“Thank you”, I said

“Is it Alexander McQueen? Seen something like that not too long ago” She said sarcastically.

“Really?” I smiled as I continued to speak, “No, babe it’s a Christina Renee original”, making a three sixty in order for her to see the full dress.

“Nice”

The compliments I got were the highlight of my night but it was weird that Trey appears everywhere I was standing. At the time I didn’t know if it was intentional or just me but I thought his efforts to get my attention were cute. Briana and I decided to get another drink from the bar. We work together but were also friends.

Briana had long red hair with a body to die for. She was wearing a short halter top tight fitted black dress. Briana is definitely more outspoken than I am. When I noticed that Trey was making his way towards the bar I quickly nudged Briana. Trey stood right next to me. I could feel his eyes piercing against my skin. I turned to the bar with hopes that he would walk away. Briana then shoved me out the way holding her hand out to shake Trey’s and said, “Hi I’m Briana”. Trey held his hand out to meet hers.

“Nice to meet you”, Trey Replied then looking at me, “And you are?”

Trey held out his hand for me to shake it. I held my hand out to meet his and replied, “Christina Renee”.

“Nice to meet you Christina Renee”, Trey said with a sarcastic smile. The few seconds we made eye contact went from innocent to sexual. I had to immediately break contact. It seemed as if we were talking to one another for the first time again. I would have said something back but because Briana had no knowledge of our past I decided to play along.

Briana interjected, “So I see you’re the man of the hour, Congratulations”

Trey replied, “Thank you, but I’m just glad I could be the one to bring awareness to the situation”.

“I understand, we both are daughters of military men so we know what it’s like”

I tried to keep myself out of the conversation as much as possible. So I would just nod my head and agree with everything that was being said. I was at this prestigious event I was originally not supposed to be at but was invited at the last minute because of my relationship with the sponsors. Then to find out that my ex is the one being honored at this event. It was a lot to take in at once.

When the night was over Briana and I said good night to one another and went our separate ways. As I was waiting for my car Trey and his assistant stood next to me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” said Trey’s assistant sarcastically.

“Yes, it was amazing”, I said with a smile

I wasn’t sure if Diana didn’t like me because of what happened but I did not appreciate the sarcasm she kept giving me. She was acting as if he was her man and not her boss.

“That’s great”, as her car pulled up she said, “Have a good night”, jumped into the car and drove off.

After she left, Trey stood still next to me waiting for his car. I was a little uncomfortable and confused. I looked in the opposite direction to make the situation less awkward.

“Is that your way of ignoring me”, Trey said smiling.

I turned to him confused, “How can I ignore someone who isn’t talking to me?” I replied.

Both of our cars pulled up at the same time. I was freaked out how things were working out. It all seemed planned in some strange way.

“Were you working tonight?”

“Excuse me, is that really the first thing you can say to me?”

I began walking to my car when Trey grabbed my hand, “Is this how you want to end the night?”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said with an attitude.

“Many”

“Well keep them for a female who wants to hear it, and we both know that’s many”, I tugged my hand from his grip, got into my car, and drove off. I didn’t intend to be so mean, it just came out. It upset me that he would ask me about work knowing our situation. Sometimes living this type of life can really affect your personal life. Ever since that night I have been getting calls and emails from Trey but I haven’t answered.

TO BE CONTINUED…

P.S All Stories are Fictional!